FEATURE ARTICLE
WHERE DO I FIT IN?
H OW T O B R I N G YO U R
S P O U S E O N B OA R D
By Nate & Brianne Hovey, Presidential Diamonds
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dōTERRA ESSENTIAL LEADERSHIP I SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2015
FEATURE ARTICLE
Trying to involve your
spouse in your do-TERRA
business can sometimes be
more complicated than you
want it to be. Nate and
Brianne Hovey share their
six-year doTERRA journey, and what they did
to strengthen their relationship along the way.
THEIR STORY:
Before do-TERRA came into their lives, Nate was working
construction. He felt stuck and knew that the pay wasn’t
worth it. Brianne saw that he wasn’t happy, and they talked
about different options, but Nate didn’t feel like anything
else was possible. Then, Brianne told Nate that she wanted
to do do-TERRA. They were barely keeping afloat financially
at the time, but they made the sacrifice for Brianne to go
all in. Brianne says, “The beginning years of our do-TERRA
experience worked because Nate was crazy supportive. For
a while I did do-TERRA alone, but eventually our team grew
so big that it became hard for me to hold it all up. I really
wanted to spend more time with my family, and instead
I was traveling everywhere, and I became super worn out.”
Nate was also exhausted. Though he eventually quit his job,
he still didn’t want to do do-TERRA. He says, “I had a bad
taste in my mouth for the business because I never saw my
wife, and when I did see her all she could talk about was
do-TERRA. I was a little bitter—she even won the incentive
trip and I chose not to go.” The shift came for Nate when
he finally did go on a trip. He says, “I saw that there are
some awesome people behind the scenes in do-TERRA and
that it wasn’t just about making a lot of money. Now, I tell
every man that asks me what they can do to get involved: to
suck up their pride and go to every event that their spouse
attends, even if it’s just to stand in a back corner and watch.”
For Brianne, the struggle came once Nate wanted to jump
onboard. She says, “I needed Nate to help, but I wasn’t
willing to accept help. I think a lot of women want their
husbands to be involved, but they’re not creating a space
for them. It took me a while to let go of the idea that it was
‘my business.’ The breakthrough came when I realized
I was really hurting his excitement about do-TERRA because
I wouldn’t delegate, and I needed to let go.”
WHAT THEY DID:
1. Talk it Out
Brianne: We sat down and talked about what our greatest talents and
strengths were, and what we liked to do the most. That’s powerful,
because when we do things we like, we get better results. When
we do things that we don’t really like, we can encourage each other.
Nate: Do things that aren’t really your strengths too. I’m not as
good at personal development coaching as Brianne, but I’ve
enjoyed watching people change. When your partner is not as
good at something, let them do it anyway to learn.
2. Divide and Conquer
Brianne: We plan by looking at the year and deciding where we
need to go, what is going on in our family life, and who needs
to go to which area. With our international teams, Nate’s more
involved in Japan and I’m more involved in Europe because we
work best with those areas. We do sometimes crossover—for
example, Nate is going to Europe this year instead of me. This
keeps our foundation and balance at home.
3. Have Open Communication
Nate: To be 100 percent honest, to work together, live together,
and have a happy marriage, you have to have some thick skin.
If you have something that is frustrating you, don’t hold on to it.
It deteriorates all your relationships.
Brianne: Nate and I thought we had good communication in our
marriage until we started working together. We went through
some family counseling that gave us better skills to communicate.
You have to listen to each other and then create a plan that you
both are excited about.
4. Separate Out Time
Nate: Try to separate husband-and-wife time from business-partner
time. With kids, those times do mesh sometimes. I would love to say we
have this mastered, but we don't. We still have our stressful moments.
5. Set Rules
Brianne: We don’t bring the phone to the dinner table. We shave
out time for our kids where we will not answer phone calls. Create
boundaries, because if you don’t it starts to affect your family heavily,
and then it’s not fun anymore. We also take time off each week.
Now the Hoveys say the difference in their lives is like night and day.
They say, “It’s honestly unbelievable. We can’t believe the changes in
us, in our marriage, and in our children. We have joy in our lives and
an abundance of time and financial freedom. We can sit and dream
and know that dream will happen. We don’t have doubts anymore
that our potential is endless. If you’re having a hard time with your
relationship as spouses, sit down and try to make it work, but also
remember to make it fun and just enjoy the ride.” S
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