A leader who has bled leads differently.
For years I could have taught this subject with a clear conscience and been dead wrong. Not wrong in doctrine. Wrong in depth. I had the theory minus the painful experiences. Then came the season where you preach on Sunday carrying a wound you cannot mention in the announcements, and lay hands on the sick while quietly wondering who will lay hands on you.
Somewhere in that stretch a phrase settled on me: leading while bleeding. If you have carried spiritual responsibility for long, you know what I mean. Welcome to the apostolic pattern.
The Mark Is Not the Medal
Paul lists his credentials, one of which we might overlook.
Truly the signs of an apostle were accomplished among you with all perseverance, in signs and wonders and mighty deeds.( 2 Corinthians 12:12 NKJV)
Notice the order: before signs, wonders, and mighty deeds comes perseverance. The word means steadfastness under pressure— a person who refuses to be diverted from purpose or loyalty to God. Endurance is not what remains after the anointing; it is the vessel that carries it.
The Message puts it bluntly:
All the signs that mark a true apostle were in evidence while I was with you through both good times and bad.( 2 Corinthians 12:12 MSG)
Through good times and bad. Current ministry culture trains us to curate the wonders and delete the blunders. Paul refuses to produce a highlight reel. He is unapologetically forthright:
You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.( 2 Timothy 2:3 NKJV)
Soldiers bleed. That is not a malfunction. That is soldiering.
Treasure in Earthen Vessels
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.( 2 Corinthians 4:7‐9 NKJV)
Read the clauses again. Hard-pressed, yet not crushed. Perplexed, but not in despair. Struck down, but not destroyed. God keeps placing a comma where the enemy had intended a period.
The Fragrance of Myrrh
Consider the holy anointing oil. God ' s recipe to Moses begins with what He called principal
21