our own. When this happens, we move from serving others to only serving ourselves. This makes us more dangerous because we can hurt others and not even know it. Thus, ignoring our ruling passions is to invite disaster for ourselves, our congregants and counselees.
Although dramatic, the following case studies illustrate how ruling passions develop, their pervasive nature, and the potential tragic outcomes that can occur when ruling passions remain undetected.
THE LEADER WHO LIED AND DESTROYED HIS MINISTRY
John was the kind and compassionate president of a nonprofit organization whose ministry gave away millions of dollars of goods each year. He was also in serious legal trouble, having been charged with about one hundred counts of criminal fraud and misrepresentation. He showed up in my office asking for counseling after being referred by his attorney. John told me his presenting problem:“ I lie but I don’ t know I’ m lying.” This may sound like a strange statement. How can a person lie and not know he’ s lying?
John explained the background. He had been a first responder immediately after the World Trade Center had been destroyed by terrorists on 9 / 11. He volunteered to help with rescue efforts at ground zero. After working there a few months he then went on a national speaking tour to raise money for the families of those who lost their lives. John told me that when he watched a videotape of himself giving his testimony at a fundraising event, he heard himself blatantly lie when he said,“ I helped minister in New York City after the 9 / 11 attack just like I helped out in Oklahoma City after the federal building had been bombed.” I asked,“ What was the lie?” John said,“ Dave, I have never been to Oklahoma City in my life.” He explained further,“ I have no memory of saying those words when I was on stage, and if you had told me I had said these words, I would have called you a liar! But the tape does not lie! There I am, lying on the tape, and that’ s proof
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