MINDSIGHT ISN ’ T
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Kay Wyma
Yesterday , when dropping off the kids at school , these simple words crossed my lips , “ Wow , we got here in great time .” Because we had . Without speeding or a single quick stop .
But what I said and what a kid in the back seat heard were two very different things .
Fury ’ s response to the simple statement : “ IT ’ S NOT MY FAULT I COULDN ’ T FIND MY SHORTS !”
What ?
“ Wait .” I stopped him before a waterfall of blames , excuses , and stress filled the car : “ What did you hear me say ?”
“ You said that we were late because of me .”
Welcome to what we call mindsight , a little something that involves seeing as well as hearing since it focuses on the way our minds perceive situations . Long before realizing mindsight was a neurobiological term coined by UCLA psychology professor Dan Siegel , my family and I have used it ( errantly , I ’ m sure ) to describe unspoken yet very real communication . It comes in the form of loud conversations that play out in our thoughts and lay the groundwork for a lot of miscommunication .
Which is where things were heading in the car . What Fury heard really wasn ’ t what I had said . And even though he likely perceived my attitude as frustrated as he watched me drive , I wasn ’ t at all . ( I made every light , which never happens !)
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