LEAD. June 2021 | Page 9

messages ” ( referred to as “ sexts ”), and 27 % received them . ( These numbers increase as kids get older , especially in their late teens ). On top of that , 12 % of participants said they forwarded sexts without consent .
Let me simplify it for you . About a third of kids under eighteen have received sexts , and about a third of those kids forward them to someone else . If your kid attends a small country school of one hundred kids , statistically , twenty-seven of them have received a sexually explicit image , video , or text message , and ten have forwarded it to others .
Because the fallout is always painful . In most situations , the girl whose picture was taken is so embarrassed , she switches schools , and in many situations , she ’ ll attempt suicide , and she doesn ’ t typically give thirteen reasons why .
2 . Creepy Basement Guy
This is the guy your mother warned you about when you were a kid , but now he has a brand-new device with a high-speed connection .
Some of these guys are adults posing as teens , but the majority of online predators actually don ’ t hide the fact they ’ re adults . They just do what they can to groom , trap , or even “ sextort ” young people into giving them what they want .
A youth worker I know was playing video games with his son . They were connected to his eleven-year-old nephew across the country and a couple of other strangers . During game play , one of these strangers kept making inappropriate comments . My friend let a couple of the comments slide because some people use foul language while gaming . But this guy began making sexual comments . So my friend said , “ Hey , man , how old are you ?” Immediately the guy disappeared from the game .
Many of these guys ( and I say guys because the vast majority of predators are ) are either really bold , dropping sexual hints and fishing for a response , or they ’ re expert groomers . All of them have learned that young people want to feel noticed , heard , validated , and even attractive . And when an older adult gives them this attention , kids feel special and eventually safe enough to share more about themselves . But so many work straight out of the pedophile ’ s handbook . That ’ s why it ’ s important to teach our kids how to recognize predatory behaviors .
In my Teen ’ s Guide to Face-to-Face Connections in a Screen-to-Screen World , I warned young people to look out for specific grooming behaviors . Here ’ s just a few of them :
Predators almost always sympathize with the way you are feeling about something and affirm your feelings or choices . Oh , I hate that . My parents used to say that to me too .
Predators often try to drive a wedge in between [ your ] relationships with family or friends . I would never treat you like that .
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