some elements of withdrawal can be healthy ( it ’ s actually part of the survival mechanism ), if we don ’ t recognize and communicate that we need to withdraw for a bit , it can cause substantial damage to our relationships and work .
Here ’ s a classic example of unhealthy communicative withdrawal : You and your friend are in the car . You ’ re driving and your friend is sitting in the passenger seat , clearly upset . You inquire , “ Hey , are you okay ? Is everything alright ?” Your friend turns their knees away from you , crosses their arms against their chest , and looks out the window , saying , “ I ’ m fine .” That ’ s nonverbal withdrawal .
Another ubiquitous form of withdrawal is using our phones as a type of avoidance , because
they appear to be a socially acceptable form of perceived focus : meaning we look busy even if we are mindlessly scrolling the newest cat video . But if we choose to disengage our connection and awareness with those around us , and stare at the glow of a tiny screen , we are doing what the ostrich is known for doing — sticking our heads in the proverbial technological sand and thinking no one can see us .
Withdrawal during interaction is typically a response to anxiety . Although very culturally and context dependent , eye contact is what nonverbal communication researcher , Andersen , says is an invitation to communicate ( Anderson , Nonverbal Communication ). When we avoid eye contact , this conveys a desire to hide . Remember , it can be a very good thing
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