“ When the wounds of our souls become increasingly hard to manage , we often take to other measures to deal with the pain .”
he would return . The Israelites grew restless and anxious , which was understandable . They were a vulnerable population of formerly enslaved laborers , not trained warriors . They were sitting exposed in the wilderness , vulnerable to wild animals , roving gangs , or potentially hostile armies who could easily overtake them . The miracles of their deliverance seemed long ago , and they felt unprotected and scared .
“ When the wounds of our souls become increasingly hard to manage , we often take to other measures to deal with the pain .”
These are powerful negative emotions ; they likely did not want to feel or deal with them . As for Moses , where was he ? They had no idea where he went or when he was coming back . He was their leader , but now their leader had disappeared . So they vented their fear and anxiety on Aaron . However , in his first leadership moment , Aaron failed . He gave in to the anxieties of his community when they demanded a calf as an object of worship .
Now this calf was probably a symbol of the Egyptian deities they were familiar with in their time in slavery . When asking Aaron for a calf , the Israelites wanted something that was familiar to them . No longer were they feeling those bad emotions of fear , vulnerability , and anxiety . They even went so far as to say that the calf was responsible for delivering them from slavery ( Exodus 32:4 ). This is what addiction is and what it does .
It is a distraction and a distortion of reality , a means of not feeling the things that tax the soul or the bad feelings that refuse to go away .
God was fully aware of this development , and only the immediate intercession of Moses prevented their destruction . This was a total calamity , and when Moses finally caught up with Aaron and demanded an explanation , it was not convincing at all ( Exodus 32:21‐24 ). But why did Aaron yield in the first place ? Remember , Aaron ’ s encounters with God , while not as deep as Moses , were still more than most of the other Israelites . He ate in God ’ s presence and was permitted to see God , if only vaguely ( Exodus 24:9-11 ). But this was not enough to resist the temptation to give into fears , either of the people ’ s demands or the idea that God had abandoned them in the wilderness .
Aaron , like his family and his people , was born into slavery . They were not in control of their destinies . They were daily reminded of their subhuman status through the contempt of their Egyptian masters . We can guess how this affected their family dynamics . What attachment issues could emerge from living in fear , under contempt , and being told not to dream too much about possibilities ? They learned early that crossing a line set by their overlords would bring down severe punishment . Fear and resentment were their constant companions of formation . This leaves traumatic wounds on the soul , the pain of which we learn to manage in all sorts of ways so that we can function . Similarly ,
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