“ The redeeming blood of Jesus freed me from being held hostage in the prison of unforgiveness , haunted by intrusive thoughts of revenge .”
The blood of Jesus is powerful enough to free us from slavery to sin ; to forgive our past , present , and future sins ; to heal the wounds we have inflicted and the wounds we carry . Grace forms us into new people who live in new ways . I know because the grace of Jesus changed my life . My father was nineteen when I was born . I suspect he suffered from mental-health issues and substance abuse . But I didn ’ t know that until I was much older . I have more empathy for him now . As a teenager , I didn ’ t . His absence in my life hurt .
At thirteen , I decided I didn ’ t need him . I was going to be successful without him . My anger toward him was like burning coal fueling an engine . But when anger is your fuel , your success pollutes your soul and those around you . Toxic is toxic , even if it looks good externally . Around 2001 , a few years after I had become a follower of Jesus , I was writing letters to family and friends about how forgiving and loving Jesus was and how he could transform their lives . As I wrote , I heard a voice say , “ Go find your father .” I don ’ t know for sure if it was God ’ s voice , but the next thing I knew , I was on my office floor in a puddle of tears , cussing and shouting , “ My father doesn ’ t deserve me finding him . Where was he when I was sexually molested ? Where was he when I needed to learn how to treat women ? Where was he when I needed him ? He doesn ’ t deserve me finding him !” The
Healer gave me time to be honest about my pain . Then it was almost like he picked me up , put me on his lap , and said , “ Son , I feel all your pain . On the cross my Son took it all upon himself . I hurt with you . And I can heal you . Derwin , it ’ s true — your father does not deserve you finding and forgiving him . But never forget : You didn ’ t deserve my Son , Jesus , finding and forgiving you .” In that moment , even though I didn ’ t want to , I knew I needed to find my father and forgive him . After I discovered he was in prison , I wrote him a short letter : “ Dad , I want you to know that I forgive you and I love you . I want you to be part of my life . You have two wonderful grandchildren you need to know .” One afternoon when I checked the mail , his response had arrived . I ran into the house and sprinted up to my office . Trying to read the letter through tears was difficult . But he wrote something I had never heard him say : “ Son , thank you for forgiving me . I want to know my grandchildren . And I love you .”
“ The redeeming blood of Jesus freed me from being held hostage in the prison of unforgiveness , haunted by intrusive thoughts of revenge .”
I just wept . The redeeming blood of Jesus freed me from being held hostage in the prison of unforgiveness , haunted by intrusive
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