How Honest Anger Can Open the Door to Forgiveness
Cassia Glass
“ Have you given yourself permission to be angry at each other ?”
Mark and Lauren were surprised at their marriage counselor ’ s question . Their answer was a big , fat “ Nope !” Permission to be angry ? Wasn ’ t that ungodly for people who were supposed to love each other ? Couldn ’ t they just say sorry and move on ?
But after two months of feeling stuck in the counseling process , the couple realized that working so hard not to feel angry over their grievances was keeping them from being honest about the pain and grief they caused each other . They began to acknowledge that repeated sins toward those they love cause real pain that should not be ignored . Once Mark and Lauren understood that they had
a choice to make : either embrace a spirit of forgiveness while working toward change , or allow that pain to keep them stuck and increasingly distant from each other .
Just like the painful patterns in Mark and Lauren ’ s marriage , patterns of sin within any close-knit community can create feelings of betrayal and bitterness instead of compassion and forgiveness . Jesus did not gloss over that reality , and neither should we . In Matthew 18 , He first prescribed a truthful yet gracious approach to confronting sinful behaviors through a number of steps beginning with “ if your brother or sister sins against you , go and point out their fault ” ( Matthew 18:15- 20 ). He then expanded His teaching to the topic of forgiveness ( 18:21-35 ). We may find opportunities to help those we lead get
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