putting up with him and see that she is fighting
for a vision of him too. He has to do whatever it
takes to remember the good and celebrate the
sweet and keep all those amazing memories in
view.
I know men who do this by making lists. One
man creates photo albums on his computer
that are filled with images of all the things he
loves about his wife. A friend of mine even told
his wife when he married her he was going to
tell her every day something new he had fallen
in love with about her. He’s done it too, and
that marriage—let me tell you—is on fire!
It’s the same with our children. People will
always disappoint. Your teenage son will not
measure up every day to the vision you had
for him when you were first told you had a
son. Find the new vision. See him for who he
is, apart from the chores that are undone and
the job he lost and the C in math on his report
card. He’s a good kid with good things in him.
Locate them. Be the Vision Keeper for his life.
Don’t smear over the gift that he is with your
disappointment and disgust.
Every friend will require the same approach.
Our buddies can be glorious to know but they
also wound. They disappoint. Sometimes they
just don’t show up. It’s easy to give up entirely
on friendship. It’s a battle for vision, though. It’s
a battle to keep who they are and what they’ve
done and what they mean to you at their best
in the center of your heart. Then you find the
grace to walk out whatever comes.
Excerpt taken from Men on Fire by Stephen Mansfield.
Copyright 2020 by Peter Greer and Christ Horst. Used by
permission of Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing
Group (http://www.bakerpublishinggroup. com).
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Stephen Mansfield is the New York Times bestselling author of The
Faith of George W. Bush, The Faith of Barack Obama, Lincoln’s Battle
with God, and The Character and Greatness of Winston Churchill,
among others. Founder of The Mansfield Group, a speaker training
firm, he is also an in-demand speaker and consultant. He holds a
doctorate in history and literature and makes his home in Nashville,
Tennessee, and Washington, DC, with his wife, Beverly.
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