FEATURE: BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES
Men and
Vision
by Stephen Mansfield
Men, let me give you some really bad news
that has some good news in it. When aptitude
tests are given to men and women, the results
show that women are superior to men in every
category except two. That’s fine. Go ahead and
grieve. It’s true.
The two categories that men can call their own
are abstract thought and aggression. Some
men like to rename these vision and drive.
Regardless of what we call them, we should give
women their due and then get on with using our
gifts for good.
It’s the gift for vision that I most want to build on
here. Thank God that men are usually equipped
with a keen sense of vision. They can see what
isn’t there. They can envision what ought to
come, perhaps what reality can ultimately be.
This is what allows them to see in their mind’s
eye how the house should be remodeled or what
that junky old car can one day become. They can
envision a strategy for a game or imagine what
their investments or degrees or labors should
produce in twenty years. This gift is what helps
them coach and build and lead and create. They
have a vision of the ideal, the ultimate, the way
things should be.
Now, men bring this gift to their relationships.
When a man falls in love with a woman, for
example, his gift for vision kicks in. He can
imagine being with her all their days. He can
envision the future, the house and the children
and the trips and the dog and all the great times
together—her at his side. He also usually has an
overdone vision of her. She’s not just Sally the
art major from Topeka. She’s Guinevere. She’s a
goddess. She’s the most beautiful creature who
ever lived.
This is all as it should be. The problem comes
when reality sets in. Real life begins to happen.
There are squabbles, letdowns, and failures to
measure up. Over time, the woman or the friend
or the children and even God don’t match the
vision in the man’s head. A chip comes off the
statue. The pristine image is tarnished and
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