In 2022, I was bestowed the honor of being a Special Olympics Global Ambassador( to this day, my parents tell me that is the coolest title I have). So I joined the athletes in Berlin, Germany, but the combo of jet lag, work / life stress, bad nerve pain, and anxiety had me not wanting to leave my hotel room. I eventually pulled myself together and made my way to the stadium, where I was set to walk in the opening ceremonies for the Special Olympics World Games. As I stood underneath the stands, hearing the roar of over twenty thousand people screaming and cheering, I felt paralyzed.
" When we can be brave enough to set our own struggles aside even for a short time and show up for others, something magical happens: we get out of our own way and wind up showing up for ourselves."
I can’ t walk out there. I shouldn’ t be here. Maybe if I sneak out nobody will notice.
Before I could escape, an athlete came up to me with the biggest smile.“ What’ s wrong? Are you okay?”
At first, I wanted to lie and say I was fine, but I didn’ t even have the energy to do that.“ No, I’ m not okay. I’ m actually really nervous.”
He kept smiling.“ It’ s okay. I get nervous too, but I just tell myself I need to be brave.”
“ I’ m not feeling very brave right now though,” I admitted.
He reached out his hand and said,“ That’ s okay. I can be brave for the both of us. Just come with me and hold my hand.” In that moment, the urge to leave dissipated. I took his hand, speechless from his warmth and kindness, and walked out there.
I realized how full circle this journey was. In many ways, the Special Olympics taught me that sports can be empowering and wonderful- something I unfortunately did not experience when I was an athlete with the Paralympics. I had wanted so badly to experience competing for my country, and instead, I silently had to battle agendas that went beyond sport while my mental health spiraled. I was only seventeen years old, two years out of a vegetative state, and defenseless. Yet I was thrown into a“ battle” that I was not prepared to fight and did not want to be in. Only recently have I been able to actually look at my medals without being jolted with anxiety. In that brave moment with my new friend from the Special Olympics, my Victory Voice said: You know what? You were pretty brave too; you always have been. In that moment( and many moments before and after that), I found my love for sport again, thanks to the Special Olympics, while
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