1 . Excessive Need for Admiration Admiration feels good , but it ’ s a monster that is never satiated . A self-absorbed leader cannot receive enough praise , credit , or glory to be satisfied . If you are relying on your team or your spouse to fill that void by singing your praises , you ’ ll burn them out . Separate your value from your accomplishments and be secure even if no one is asking for your autograph . That way , when fame does come along , you ’ ll be prepared to handle it properly .
2 . Lack of Empathy This may be the most dangerous consequence of narcissism . Selfish leaders tend to use people , ignore people , reject people , and step on people . It ’ s not that they do it on purpose , but there is simply little room for understanding or compassion in their thought processes because their entire existence is focused on themselves . And since they are not really thinking about other people ’ s feelings or needs , they end up hurting others . If you find yourself consistently treating
“ Narcissism blinds leaders to the needs , dreams , and rights of others .”
people poorly , or if there is a growing trail of people behind you who have left your team in hurt or anger , evaluate your empathy level . Make sure you are thinking not just about yourself , but about others as well .
3 . Exaggerated Sense of Self-Importance You are important — you just shouldn ’ t think about that all the time , and you should also remember that other people are equally as important as you . If you can manage to hold on to the dual truth that both you and those around you are important , you ’ ll be able to have healthy self-confidence and self-esteem without falling into egotism . A healthy question to ask yourself is this : What informs my sense of self-importance ? If the answer is something as transient as a job title , money , or fame , adjust the basis of your self-image before ego gets out of hand ( or crashes and burns if things take a downturn later ). Focus instead on things that are more permanent and more under your control : your relationships , moral strength , character growth , spirituality , and contribution to others .
4 . Feelings of Entitlement We ’ ve all been around people who thought the world owed them something , and it ’ s not an attractive trait . Leaders , even good ones , can adopt this same attitude , often subtly and over time . Remember , you will make sacrifices that no one else makes . You will carry weight that no one else understands . If you don ’ t process that reality correctly along the way , you can begin to resent the sacrifices — or worse , resent those you lead —
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