no clubs , and with surprising composure played a good round despite the ugly start .
During our conversation on the way home , I casually said , “ Bennett , today when you made that double bogey to start your round , I could see you were frustrated . I know how it feels . You could have let your frustrations take over , but instead , you kept your mind in the game and went on to play a good round of golf . The Bible has a word for that kind of virtue — ‘ selfcontrol .’ In my experience , people who have a lot of self-control go far in this world . Bennett , I see you growing into a young man who is full of self-control , and I think it ’ s going to help you succeed in life .” That took about 30 seconds , but you can imagine the impact words like that have .
The steps to speaking blessing are simple : 1 ) affirm a virtue you see in someone more clearly than they see it in themselves ; 2 ) connect the virtue to their identity ( you ’ re helping them discover who they are !); 3 ) connect their virtuous identity to a positive future .
When people you love are discouraged , wayward or unmotivated , you aren ’ t helpless . In Christ , you have been given the power to bless !
NOW
1 Dallas Willard , Living in Christ ’ s Presence : Final Words on Heaven and the Kingdom of God ( Downers Grove , IL : InterVarsity Press , 2014 ), 164 2021 , B & H Publishing Group .
Alan Wright is the senior pastor of Reynolda Church in North Carolina , a popular conference speaker , and the host of a daily 30-minute radio program syndicated on more than 400 stations , which encourages listeners through the good news of the gospel . More information about Alan Wright Ministries can be found at pastoralan . org .
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