couples — and on our own marriage — we’ve distilled some essential
truths that help couples keep their relationships fresh as they navigate
the life-long experience of growing real love
1. Conflict is growth trying to happen.
Most people believe that if you’re having problems in your marriage,
you’re with the wrong person. So, when conflict gets heated and
gnarly, they wonder if it’s time to bail … and it’s not! Rather, if
you’re willing to work with the conflict, there is something wonderful
and amazing waiting for you right around the corner. The key is
learning how to work with conflict creatively – in ways that help both
you and your partner grow. Plus, just changing your perspective so
that you view conflict as an opportunity, an indicator that it’s time to
grow, can help ease the troubles you ‘re having.
2. It’s not him; it’s you.
Ninety percent of the upset you feel with your partner comes from
your past. It’s true! So, stop blaming your partner. We know that it’s
hard to do — especially when you feel miserable and it seems as
though the source of your misery is, well, that annoying person you’re
married to. But here’s the thing: We fall head over heels in love with
someone who is similar to our parents, which is a mysterious design
that holds the potential for deep, abiding connection – once you get
past all the squabbling. So, the next time you feel your blood boiling,
remind yourself: This feeling has more to do with my past than my
partner!
3. A laugh a day keeps the divorce lawyer away.
Sometimes we’re so busy working on our relationships that we
actually forget to enjoy them. And what’s the point of doing all of that
work if you’re not having fun with your partner? Using humor and
joy is critical to a couple’s happiness together. Now, this doesn’t
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