LCSD COVID-19 Mental Health Awareness Volume I | Page 4

OWNING YOUR
FEELINGS
It can be easy to get caught up in your emotions as you’re feeling them. Most people don’t think
about what emotions they are dealing with, but taking the time to really identify what you’re
feeling can help you to better cope with challenging situations.
Tips for success
Allow yourself to feel. Sometimes there are societal pressures that
encourage people to shut down their emotions, often expressed through
statements like, “Big girls don’t cry,” or “Man up.” These outdated ideas are
harmful, not helpful. Everyone has emotions–they are part of the human
experience–and you have every right to feel them, regardless of gender,
sexual orientation, ethnicity, socio-economic status, race, political
affiliation or religion.
Don’t ignore how you’re feeling. Most of us have heard the term “bottling up
your feelings” before. When we try to push feelings aside without addressing
them, they build strength and make us more likely to “explode” at some point in
the future. It may not always be appropriate to process your emotions at the
very moment you are feeling them, but try to do so as soon as you can.
Talk it out. Find someone you trust that you can talk to about how you’re
feeling. You may find that people are eager to share about similar experiences
they’ve had or times that they have felt the way that you are feeling. This can be
helpful, but if you’re really only interested in having someone listen, it’s okay to
tell them that.
Build your emotional vocabulary. When asked about our feelings, most
people will usually use words like bad, sad, mad, good, or fine. But at the root
of “good, bad, sad, mad, or fine” are many words that better describe how we
feel. Try building your emotional vocabulary by writing down as many “feeling”
words as you can think of and think of a time that you felt that way.
Try journaling. Each night write down at least 3 feelings you had over the
course of the day and what caused them. It doesn’t need to be a “Dear Diary”
kind of thing. Just a few sentences or bullet points to help you practice
being comfortable with identifying and expressing your emotions.
The English language has
over 3,000 words for
emotions.1
People who are good at
being specific about
identifying and labeling
their emotions are less
likely to binge drink, be
physically aggressive, or
self-injure when
distressed.2
When school-aged kids are
taught about emotions for
20-30 minutes per week,
their social behavior and
school performance
improves.3
If you feel like you are
struggling with your
mental health, visit
mhascreening.org to
check your symptoms.
Consider the strength of your feelings. By thinking about how intense your
emotions are, you may realize that what you thought you were feeling at first
could better be described by another word. For instance, sometimes a person
might say they are stressed when what they are really experiencing is
something less severe like annoyance, alternatively anger might really be a
stronger, deeper feeling like betrayal.
See a mental health professional. If you are taking steps to be more in touch
with your feelings, but are having trouble dealing with them, mental health
providers like counselors and therapists have been trained to help. Some
free or low cost options are also available. Your employer might have an
Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that offers a limited number of free
counseling sessions, and your Human Resources department can help you
access this resource. If you don’t have an EAP through work, the leaders of
religious organizations like churches, synagogues and mosques often have
experience with counseling.
Sources
1https://learnersdictionary.com/3000-words/topic/emotions-vocabulary-english
2Kashdan, T. B., Barrett, L. F., McKnight, P. E. (2015). Unpacking Emotion Differentiation: Transforming Unpleasant Experience by Perceiving
Distinctions in Negativity. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 24(1), 10–16. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721414550708
3Brackett, M. A., Rivers, S. E., Reyes, M. R., & Salovey, P. (2012). Enhancing academic performance and social and emotional competence with the
RULER feeling words curriculum. Learning and Individual Differences, 22, 218–224.
It’s free, confidential, and anonymous.
Once you have your results, MHA will
give you information and resources to
help you start to feel better.