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GUEST OPINION :
Beyond First Impressions BY RUSS GERBER
Musician Carlos Santana was interviewed on National Public Radio by Michel Martin , who asked about his background , upbringing , and life today . He said he grew up in a poor neighborhood in Tijuana , Mexico . He was an angry teenager in high school and often ended up in the principal ’ s office .
Not a great start . But all that ’ s behind him now .
“ I ’ m a good man ,” Santana told the interviewer . “ I ’ m not what happened to me . I am still with purity and innocence . No one can take that away from me .”
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He gives plenty of credit for this “ good man ” to his mother . “ I think she probably prayed for me more than anyone to keep me from getting lost .” He dedicated his memoir to her “ because she deserves to know her prayers worked .” Obviously , she had an exceedingly good impression of her son , even if he or others did not .
That ’ s worth considering . If discouraging first impressions become the thought model we adopt as our own — defining who we are and influencing who we will be — then we need better models .
The deep impact of thought models was explored by author Mary Baker Eddy . She saw the redemptive effect the best thought models can have on people ’ s lives . She also warned of the fallout from being transfixed by its imperfect opposite . In her book “ Science and Health ” she wrote : “ Do you not hear from all mankind of the imperfect model ? The world is holding it before your gaze continually . The result is that you are liable to follow those lower patterns , limit your life-work , and adopt into your experience the angular outline and deformity of matter models .”
Such a dispiriting concept of who we are acts as a mental roadblock . It would keep us from seeing extraordinary possibilities and empowering a full , healthy , productive life . “ To remedy this ,”
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Eddy continued , “ we must first turn our gaze in the right direction and then walk that way . We must form perfect models in thought and look at them continually , or we shall never carve them out in grand and noble lives .”
I wouldn ’ t be surprised if that ’ s similar to what Santana ’ s mother found . Instead of surrendering to the picture of an immoral and spiritually empty life for her son , she prayed for and held to a far better idea of manhood . One that ’ s morally and spiritually full , as well as pure and innocent . One that her son is profoundly grateful for today .
Was it easy ? Were there times when she saw scant evidence of worthiness in her son ’ s behavior , and was she tempted to wonder if her prayers would be answered ? I don ’ t know . Maybe those first impressions presented a pretty despairing picture .
The good news is that what she valued more than anything else , and what we all can value , is the goodness that can ’ t be taken from anyone . Santana would agree . It can ’ t because it ’ s based on a spiritual idea , a model that doesn ’ t change and that never goes away .
In a world of dispiriting images and low expectations , which picture should occupy the thoughts we hold about ourselves or others ? Which impression should we build on and look at continually ? The one based
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on fluctuating appearances ? The one that marginalizes individuality and that ’ s littered with flaws and off-putting stereotypes ? Hard to imagine a bright and promising life blossoming out of such an imperfect model . It ’ s even harder to imagine that such a superficial picture accurately represents anyone ’ s core being .
It ’ s that spiritual core , unrestricted by what ’ s seen on the surface , that signifies the true value of any one of us .
So here ’ s something worth remembering for the road ahead . Regardless of the negative appearances tossed in front of us , we choose what thought model , imperfect or perfect , will influence us . We choose what thought model will shape our view of others . We choose what thought model empowers us to do the most good for the world at large .
No one should be allowed to make this choice for us . It ’ s ours to make , and as Santana and his mother found , it ’ s never too late to make it .
Russ and his wife moved back home to Southern California after he worked as the media manager for the Christian Science church in Boston . With a background in publishing , he spends most of his time writing , reading , volunteering and grandparenting .
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