By Billy Fried |
Summer is here . And so is all of Riverside . If this week is any indication , we are in for a holy hell of devastating gridlock this summer . Until the city has the will to take control of our major arteries and radically reimagine them as less car-centric and more multi-modal , quit your complaining and deal with it . Because , unlike everywhere else |
on this crowded planet , at least we have the pleasant respite of our perfect beaches , with the toasty sand , refreshing water and quiet breeze .
Okay , so it takes you 30 minutes to get from your house to the beach . You finally wrangle parking , lug your gear down the steps , set your chair up , grab a cool drink , and settle in with your summer reading .
|
And then the drone comes , building , getting louder , gaining decibels . Is it an army of leafblowers ? Chain saws ? Dune buggies ? No , it ’ s those flying lawnmowers in the sky known as paramotors . They look like mini swamp boats . They fly low , right over you , doing their swoops , and the first time , it ’ s a novelty and kind of cool . But by the third time , your head rattles . And they keep coming and coming , often hovering over you in a vainglorious attempt for attention .
I was recently enjoying the newly replaced firepits at Aliso Beach and could not hear myself or others speak when these flying lawnmowers came swooping in . They disrupted our entire town as they made their way up the coast . We had to wait until they finished their aerial tricks and moved on to the next beach to annoy everyone there .
Why over our beaches , our last bastion of tranquility in a crowded world ? Well , it ’ s because these pilots have discovered a loophole in FAA regulations , where they are classified as an ultralight , and are governed under the rules of FAR 103 , which contains barely any rules at all . No pilot license required . No driver ’ s license . No training . No age requirement . They can hover one foot off the ground so long as they are not over buildings or people .
And these South County fliers have discovered the perfect route to our coast from Aliso and Wood Canyons Wilderness Park . They fly high over green space until they reach the ocean . And then dip and dive and showboat . Do you blame them ? With precious open space in our crowded corridor , they have found the most spectacular place to fly – over our ocean and within spitting distance of our luxury beachfront homes , where they enjoy front-row seats in our bathrooms and private areas . And that ’ s intrusive if you are sunning your perineum or enjoying a luxurious douching on your Japanese toilet .
Where can we go to escape the noise outside our home ? Our streets are belching toxic fumes . And our restaurants sound like MMA events . I used to scoff at all the old people complaining about the noise here caused by revving vehicles and Harleys . But then I got old . And my tinnitus kicked in from that one George Clinton concert when my ear was pressed against the monitor . I can ’ t enjoy 90 % of our restaurants now . Noise has become one of the biggest dis-regulators of our nervous system . And the second biggest complaint about restaurants outside of food .
Okay , I ’ ll admit those cheeky par-
|
|||||
FRIED , PAGE 17 |