12 lagunabeachindy . com MARCH 24 , 2023
GUEST OPINION : WISDOM WORKOUT
Instant Intimacy
By Susan McNeal Velasquez
In our fast-paced society , we have come to expect that everything , including intimacy , can be created instantly . Since the internet , connections are easily made , and a new acquaintance can appear to be a relationship match based solely online .
Intuition is called our sixth sense because it is the ability to synthesize information from our five senses to establish a deeper information stream . When we meet another face-to-face , our eyes take them in as we sense their energy . Underneath the surface banter we all use , a tremendous amount of information is readily available if we allow ourselves to attune to it . There is an apt saying , ‘ who you are speaks so loudly , I can ’ t hear a word you are saying .’
I often have clients who have entered into a relationship and become intimately involved based solely on the fact that they have corresponded back and forth through e-mail , texts or phone calls , each time becoming more and more open without having any information about the other person from their other senses .
Being open and self-revealing is crucial in building trust with one another . No openness , no trust . Too much openness too soon violates self-trust . Runaway openness can leave you unsafe and vulnerable to manipulation . It invites others into your inner life before they have been qualified as honorable enough to be let in . Openness is a skill that is crucial and a deciding factor in our success or failure in relationships .
Our awareness of ourselves can be divided into two levels . The first level is what we are aware of about ourselves and can share quite easily with little or no discomfort . What sits below this level is more sensitive information . It is what you are aware of about yourself that makes you more exposed and vulnerable . This is the level that is best managed by your
intuitive knowledge about yourself and your intuitive sensing of another .
A question needs to be answered before you share sensitive information about yourself . The question is : Am I willing to fully own these thoughts and feelings before I share them with another ? When this question is considered before sharing intimate information about yourself , your history , wants , needs , desires and dreams , you have a green light to share whatever you deem appropriate . When willing to take full responsibility for our openness , we can use our sharing to establish authentic relationships with others .
This , under the surface level is a two-edged sword . Our willingness to disclose our private selves is a supreme gift that creates the possibility of creating timeless friendships . Sharing from this intimate storehouse also creates the experience of being out of control . Once we publish information , it is in the hands of the gods . It threatens the carefully put-together image management that makes us appear ready for prime time .
When we risk exposing our deeper thoughts and feelings , it makes room for new awareness ’ to surface . In our culture , we commonly have two types of problems with our feelings . We are either blind to our emotions or blinded by them . To the extent our emotions are stifled , we lead stunted lives . Our emotions enrich the quality
of our lives because they help define what is most important to us .
When deciding how open to be , take a moment to determine what thoughts and feelings you are presently aware of that you are willing to share easily . Express yourself from that level . Listen and receive the other person ’ s response . Check in again . Next , ask yourself what you are aware of but would be uncomfortable sharing . Decide whether you are willing to risk short-term discomfort to share this . A yes means a vote of confidence that you are willing to trust yourself and this other person more . A no means that you have reached your trust boundaries and are unwilling to venture forward either because you don ’ t trust yourself or you don ’ t trust them . All this is good information as you increase your ability to be respectful and patient with yourself about what you are willing to reveal .
Take calculated risks . Test the water . See whether you can trust the vulnerable areas of your life to another . The benefits of taking the risk to share on a deeper level is increased access to our own emotional richness and the opportunity to be known more fully by those significant others in our lives .
Susan writes and produces personal development seminars and is the author of : Beyond Intellect : Journey into the Wisdom of Your Intuitive Mind . susanvelasquez . com
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