Guilt ridden : To have sex with the husband or not ?
Over the years , I have consumed what I believe to be an average amount of porn for a 44-year-old hetero guy . I have never paid for it , and I am now facing a troubled conscience for that fact . I could obviously just subscribe to some site or other now , but that would benefit only one company and / or set of performers . Is there a Dan Savage – approved charity relating to the adult film industry to which I could donate ?
Seeks Penance And Needs Knowledge
" Porn performers almost never get royalties for their scenes when they work for big studios ," said Conner Habib , a writer , activist , and porn performer . " If you buy into the trickle-down theory of things , then more money for the studio should mean more money for the performers . If you don ' t buy into that — and not everyone does — there are other options ." together and are a good fit otherwise . I no longer have any desire to have sex with my husband . Lots of men and women write in to complain about their partner ' s low libido . This is not the case . My libido is fine . I just don ' t want to have sex with my husband . Whenever we would have sex in the past , I would get anxious and try to avoid it . We each have our issues . He feels insecure and has trouble maintaining erections . I always felt desexualized — not by him , but when I was younger . Being a poly woman dating in my 40s has been incredibly empowering and sexy . But my husband ' s experiences have been different . He is frustrated because it is hard for him to meet women , and his frustration is made worse by the fact that I don ' t want sex with him either . When he had a girlfriend , our sex life wasn ' t as much of an issue . What should I do ? He ' s unhappy . I ' m frustrated . Neither of us wants to divorce . Should I force myself ?
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To get your money directly to the performers whose work you ' re currently enjoying / stealing , SPANK , you can patronize smaller studios run by performers , book time with independent webcam models , and purchase porn created by performers on sites like Clips4Sale . com .
To atone for your years of freeloading , SPANK , you can and should make large donations to two organizations .
" The Adult Performer Advocacy Committee ( APAC , apacusa . com ) is the largest performer-based organization in the world , and its membership is made up entirely of performers ," said Habib . " Full disclosure : I ' m the vice president , but no donation money goes to me or any board member . It all goes to the organization , which works to improve the working conditions , quality of life , and safety of performers , as well as to fight anti-porn laws and stigma ." Habib also recommended donating money to the Sex Workers Outreach Project ( swopusa . org ). " This isn ' t a porn-specific organization ," said Habib , " but it works to protect and fight for the rights of all sex workers . Since many performers are doing other forms of sex work , donations go a long way to help porn performers ."
My husband and I have been married for 16 years . We have been polyamorous for the last five years . We are a bit mismatched sexually in many ways . Polyamory was our solution . For much of this time , my husband had a girlfriend . Before I go on , let me say that I adore my husband in all ways except sex . We are raising a child
Lady In Baltimore Isn ' t Desiring Obligatory Sex
It is a truth universally acknowledged — in the poly universe anyway — that a married poly woman will have an easier time finding sex partners than a married poly man . Some men in poly relationships present themselves as dishonest cheaters rather than honest nonmonogamists because women would rather fuck a married man who ' s cheating on his wife than a married man who isn ' t cheating on his wife . Go figure .
Anyway , LIBIDOS , the answer to your question — should you force yourself to fuck your husband ? — depends on your answer to this question : How badly do you want to avoid divorce ? Because if your husband can ' t or won ' t pretend to be cheating , LIBIDOS , and if women won ' t fuck him because he ' s in an open marriage , your refusal to fuck him could wind up incentivizing divorce .
So to save your marriage , LIBIDOS , you might wanna fuck your husband once in a while . And since you ' re off the hook when your husband has a girlfriend , LIBIDOS , you might wanna do everything you can to help him find a new one . But between girlfriends , LIBIDOS , you ' ll probably wanna fuck him once in a while . Lube for you , Viagra for him , pot for you both . by Dan Savage
Lawless Entertainment Magazine – www . llemag . com