Law of Attraction Magazine August, 2015 Issue | Page 18

?Who are you?? You have just experienced the moment
when honeymoons generally begin to fall apart. He
responded so unconsciously that he didn?t even notice
how nasty he was. And, in his response to what he
perceives as a personal ?attack? on his character, he starts
digging in his heels to defend himself to the death. He?s
thinking, She accused me of not being me. I?m the same me
I?ve always been. I don?t know what she?s talking about.
What?s her problem? Meanwhile, you?re thinking, Where is
the loving man I married? Your conscious mind detaches
from the current moment to assess the unpleasant
situation in which you now find yourself. Uh-oh,
unbeknownst to you, you also unconsciously default to
your own formerly hidden subconscious behaviors that
you acquired from your family and culture. Now it?s your
partner?s turn to be shocked as his once loving spouse
shifts into criticism and blame, as well as other less than
loving programs you downloaded from your parents. As
the daily issues of life increasingly occupy your and your
partner?s conscious minds, more disharmonious
unconscious behavior patterns begin to rise to the
surface. Soon you both shift from appreciating your
partner to focusing on his or her periodic nasty outbursts.
Both you and your
partner
turn
defensive
and
begin to critique
other faults: he
never cleans up,
she never puts the
cap
on
the
toothpaste, and on
and on. All the
things you ignored
in the first glow of
love now start to
bug you.
If you met through
an online dating
service, both of
you want your
Page 18 - August , 2015

money back! He/she didn?t fill out the questionnaire honestly!
But actually you both filled it out in good faith. You both
filled it out consciously? and that?s the rub. Your thoughtful
submissions from your conscious minds truly represent the
people you aspire to be. Unfortunately, the character of the
?you? who answered the questionnaire normally expresses
itself only about 5 percent of the time. What both partners
failed to include in their surveys were the sabotaging and
limiting subconscious programs they acquired from others,
which all of us unconsciously engage in about 95 percent of
the time. With the appearance of uninvited behaviors 95
percent of the time, you and your partner have most
definitively left the honeymoon and are back on the road of
conventional life. If any of these heretofore unseen,
destructive, and disturbing behaviors had surfaced on the
first day of your relationship, there probably would not have
been a second day. Now you?re wondering if you should
lower your expectations and accept what your relationship
has become because ?This is the way life is and I have to
accept the bad with the good.? Or will the many
compromises you make as you adjust to abusive behavior
become so intolerable that your once seemingly
unbreakable bond shatters? You say, ?The hell with this. I
can?t do this.? And then you go out (again) and try to find
what you once had. The culprit for this repeating cycle is
invisible: it?s the behaviors programmed in you and your
partner?s subconscious minds. Your conscious minds sent
you on the quest to find a loving partner and rejoiced when
you found The One, yet your subconscious mind is
destroying what you?ve created. But once you know that
you?re dealing with four minds in the relationship, and once
you know how to change the negative programming of your
subconscious minds, you will have the tools to recreate what
you?ve lost.
Excerpt from The Honeymoon Effect: The Science of Creating
Heaven on Earth. Available at a local bookstore near you.

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Bruce H. Li