Nonetheless, for the purposes of this story, we will accept that he made it to Padua. He’s a saint, it’s the sort of thing he could probably do if he wanted. This is where the story gets gruesome however. The leader of the Greek Orthodox Church of Thebes petitioned Padua for “a significant relic” of St Luke to be transferred to the place where he is believed to have died, and where he is venerated. After “much prayer and meditation”, it was decided to grant the request, and poor Luke was disturbed from his eternal sleep for a second time (remember the skull in Prague?). One of his ribs was removed and sent off to Thebes, a rib which, with no apparent sense of irony, was said to be “very close to St Luke’s heart”. And when did this trafficking ofhuman remains take place? 1998: less than two decades ago
I find it highly unlikely that I will ever be venerated by a major world religion in the way that Saints Anthony and Luke are. Just in case though, I’d like to make one thing perfectly clear, with all of you reading this as my witnesses. In the unlikely scenario that I am canonised after my death, nobody, and I mean, *nobody*, is to start handing out bits of my remains to their friends like some gruesome Secret Santa, to put on display to overexcited tourists. I don’t like being disturbed from my sleep whilst alive, I can’t imagine that death will improve my disposition, especially if the person doing the disturbing has designs on my bones. You’ll just have to find another way to honour me, and that’s final.
Sahar Zivan
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