Liberian Literary Magazine January Issue 0115
going to pretend you don ’ t know what I am talking about ?”
“ No , I don ’ t ” I say . “ I didn ’ t touch any stove . What time did I have to do that ?”
She gauges me , hesitates , but I know that I got her right where I want her to be-taking the pressure off me . I can tell that she is considering the most unlikely possibility . We both are , but unlike her , I am sure that that is the only logical explanation .
So I jump in before the moment gets lost . “ If anything happened to the stove , it is not me . Don ’ t forget that we are three in this house …” I let it hang , not wanting to push my luck . Butter is our four year old natcho .*
“ Some dad you are , selling out your daughter to save your skin .” Mr . Absolutists chimes in .
I retort , “ Shut up . You know you are wrong this time because I did not have anything to do with this . Shame is what has you talking now . Just find a place and sit . I ’ m not selling her . I ’ m just saying the truth ”
I get up slowly , “ Hun , what happened to the stove ?” This is dangerous territory , if she did not stay long in the moment , I am doomed . She stares at the wall , saying and doing nothing . Thinking .
“ Good .” I think to myself . Feeling a little bad about dropping Butter to save my skin but somewhat relieved that I am not in the hole , albeit briefly . It is not as if I lied . That girl is responsible for whatever happened out in that kitchen . I am sure of it . Although all I want to see is the scale of her shenanigans this time . I bid my time .
We are not like her mother who believes that if it ain ’ t broke , don ’ t fix it . We are more like , if-it-isworking-someone-took-time-to-think-and-fix-it , so let ’ s see how they did it . For the past six months or so , she has done more damage in this home than I have done in a decade . That is my story and I am sticking to it . There is nowhere she is unable to reach now . She tall ; she climbs , doubles the chairs or use a ladder if she has to … but she always finds a way to reach her targets . I have caught her in the act a few times . More often than not , it is after she is done that we find out . She has this annoying habit of coming to you with an item she has spoilt and asking you to “ please fix it ; it is not working .” She conveniently omits the part that she is responsible for that . I used to be annoyed at first , but after her mom took the opportunity to remind me that she is doing exactly what I do , I decided to do what my dad did to me when I started doing what she did- guide her along . Needless to say , her mum is so not cool with that .
I often tell her it is better I am aware and help , than to have her go at it alone . The safety argument did her mum in , but she has made it clear that she ’ d rather she had no part in my fixing things habit .
Upon entering the kitchen , I saw firsthand the damage . The wife has caught up with me . Judging from what I see , even I find it hard to believe this to be Butter ’ s work . In a way I admire it , but in another way , I am appalled . The stove is a mess . Almost every movable part is spread out on the floor-the trim rings , upper parts of the hotplate , the knobs- even the door was left open
I turned around with that look in my eyes that says , “ This here is a new level .”
The mum takes the opportunity to return her look that says , “ Are you sure that she did this ?”
“ I have told you Hun , this girl is going to damage things in this house .” “ You told me this ?” She sarcastically retorts . “ Okay , whatever , but this , it is just …..” “ Oops , hold that thought ” I catch myself thinking and stop talking .
“ Which is what I am saying .” She fires back . “ I heard you making some noise when you came in this morning . I just figured you were adjusting things in your study as you have been wanting to do .
“ Yes I was making noise this morning but this is what I was doing .” I pointed to the Christmas tree and the boxes underneath .
“ I was doing the work of that fat dude .” I think to myself . “ One day a year , not even a whole day , a few hours a year , is all he has to work , and even that , he is unable to do . He ends up getting the credit for the hard work millions of dads put in . One day ! He goes back to hibernating or whatever else he does all year long . I was feeling particularly unaccommodating to the Oldman ’ s laziness . Perhaps he should retire and let others take credit for what they really do . Here I was , all week , I had been up and about ; every bone in my body was sore , but I had to come home from the year end party , rush to get the last minute things , which by the way was another drama considering I hate shopping .
For some reason , all the dolls that could speak or sing vanished form the shelves . Butter had told us two days before that she wanted some Baby Alive doll . We learned it had to be imported- that was not happening at least not within the timeframe . Yesterday , was out because of work and we had to go to the hospital . So was today . All this just for some red suited Pops to be hailed as a hero . Don ’ t get me started on the red nose reindeer or the talking elves .
She looks at the tree as if this is her first time noticing what was under it . She gives me that look that tells me she ’ s impressed with something I had done but it quickly changes . We have a
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