KiwiParent from Parents Center NZ Test Volume | Page 64
A photo was taken by a passerby
and posted onto Facebook.
The rest, they say, is history.
what’s
the real
story?
We all know the story now; a baby left in
a car in Pak ’n Save Porirua’s carpark,
along with a note “My mum’s in doing the
shopping, call her if I need anything,” and a
cellphone number.
Sure, this new mum did not choose
wisely to leave a baby alone in a
supermarket carpark. But is this story
really so bad to warrant international
media attention and a social media
furore? I’d suggest that there are
bigger stories that deserve attention
here.
How about the story of the passerby
who took the photograph? Did he
ring the cellphone number to speak
to the mother involved? Did it occur
to him to call the police? CYFS? Did it
occur to him to do anything that was
remotely of use to an abandoned
baby and to the baby’s mother who
clearly was struggling to make good
choices that day? The only thing he
did do was to share a photo of this
contentedly sleeping baby, creating
a social media frenzy. Is this the act
of someone genuinely concerned for
the wellbeing of this child or is it an
act of judgment?
How about the story of the
disproportionate outrage and public
condemnation that has followed this
mother’s actions? Mostly we fail to
see anything like this level of
public outrage levelled at the real
perpetrators of child abuse – those
who beat, rape or murder those
in their care. Is the name Michael
Martin on everyone’s lips, one of
the latest stepfathers who allegedly
killed a toddler in his care in
Auckland? Unlikely, but everyone in
our nation and most of the Western
world now knows and has an
opinion about the mother who left
her sleeping baby locked in a car at
Pak ‘n Save in Porirua.
How about the story about the
village that, today, does not raise
the child? Today’s parenting can be
so isolating that parents don’t have
the support they need to nip down
to the shops to purchase essential
items and they are judged, not
supported, through every choice they
make. Parenting is not something
that can be done in isolation and a
tired, isolated parent is not always
going to make good choices. Sure,
I actually don’t know if this mum
was tired or isolated, but her actions
suggest an inability to make good
choices that day and a trusting,
if naïve, belief that strangers’
intentions will be good ones.
Yes parenting is all about choices and
risk assessments – we do this every
day without even knowing we are
doing it most of the time. On one
autumn morning, in the Pak ‘n Save
carpark in Porirua, a new mother
clearly didn’t get it right, but what
is the real story here? Is it her poor
choice that day or is it a nation with
appalling child abuse statistics with
a moral compass that is becoming
strangely skewed?
Eleanor Cater
Eleanor Cater is a
freelance writer and
works for Parents
Centres New Zealand
as the national Brand
Manager. She lives in Porirua City,
shops all over and very rarely sees
babies left in cars.