Kiwi Rider January 2022 Vol.1 - Page 60

dislike of crap mechanics ) and Arasole waded into them with bare fists and flaying chains , while Gandar threw the most stale of the egg sandwiches at the erks as if they were grenades . Gimlett simply had another drink . Then , as one , the erks all retreated ... almost whimpering as they scurried back to their dark little smoko rooms . “ The wicked one is coming ,” Gimlett grunted , in a voice awash with fear and vomit . Out of the darkness stepped a huge bear of a creature ... the guardian of the Howling- Dervishes Parts and Accessories Centre .
IT WAS …… It was the Son of Barger ... a charismatic and tattooed entity whose heart had long belonged to the very angels of Hell . ” Are youse guys cops ?” he asked . Gandar replied that he and his shabby gang most certainly were not , and that they simply wanted to get to Vegasville , and a certain bar , which could lead them to a certain evil individual who could then lead them to a lava pit into which they could toss a malevolent piston ring . “ Buncha crazy bastards on drugs huh ,” the Son of Barger responded with a shake of the head as Crozman and Arasole slowly
The stranger left the bar for the sanctuary of the toilets . Could it be ….?
went for their chains . “ No need for that ,” the Son of Barger growled . “ Just follow this aisle and turn left into vests , boots and bandannas , then take the second right through conrods and cranks , hang a left when you see the saddlebags and tank bags ... and there you are ... Vegasville . Have a real shitty day now y ' hear ?” “ Most kind ,” Gandar said with a slight bow , and with relief written all over their faces ( they washed it off later ) the merry band tramped on . True to his word , the Son of Barger had directed them out through large swinging doors and into a landscape of lights and colours and noise . Fred pulled a ragged note from his back pocket and attempted to make sense of the street map scrawled upon it ... the handiwork of dear , mad Uncle Billybo . “ Latasha ' s Lapdancing Bar is two blocks this way ,” he declared . “ Lead on , young fellow ,” Gandar boomed , and in single file they marched into the maelstrom of blazing light . Fred was perplexed . Baz and Nev were bewildered . Gandar was confused . Crozman and Arasole were sceptical . Gimlett was merely pissed as a parrot . For before them stood not Latasha ' s Lapdancing Bar but a huge noisy biker ' s bar emporium of imbibing , gambling and pool called The Two Cylinders . The landscape had clearly changed since Billybo had been there . This turn of events unsettled the lads , as they had not bargained on the bar changing hands and undergoing what had clearly been a major renovation . Shaking their heads , they confronted the doorman , but before they could speak a harsh little voice chirped behind them . It was Gollygee . “ When do I come back into the story ?” the wretched creature whined . “ Later ,'' an irritated Gandar replied before adding “ now be off with you .” Fred stepped forward and asked what happened to Latasha ' s place . “ People don ' t wanna sit and have some girly wiggle on their laps no more ,” the muscled bouncer declared . “ They wanna sit on motorcycles .” “ Oh I don ' t know ,” Fred murmured . Nev crept forward and asked that if , by chance , what about , y ' know ... what if someone reaaaaaally wanted to see , not do mind you , but just wanted to , y ' know , watch , sort of ... lapdancing . “ Where would they go ?” The bouncer pointed south and simply said “ The Lava Pit ... corner 25th and Main .” Gandar ' s eyes widened and Fred gasped upon hearing that within only a few minutes ' walk there lay a lava pit ... of some sort . Gimlett , meanwhile , had staggered off ... mumbling something about the ‘ big guy ’ leaving the building . The rest of the lads followed his weaving path , as he erratically followed a mysterious chubby figure wearing what appeared to be a well-worn old cape through the dazzling streets . The figure lurched into a dark alley , followed by Gimlett who had clearly spooked him by breaking into a phlegm-laden version of Viva Las Vegas and cries of ‘ you old rockabilly rascal ... it ' s you ain ' t it !’ The rest of the good lads had no idea what their drunken little chum was on about , but they quickened their pace when they saw the mysterious figure dash through the neon-studded doors of a cheap brick-veneered building with the words ‘ The Lava Pit ’ emblazoned above . They all breathlessly entered and saw the stranger , alone at a table . The shadowy profile was puzzling in its odd familiarity . Crozman whispered in Fred ' s ear . “ Naaa , it can ' t be ,” Fred replied . “ He disappeared during the punk wars quarter of a century ago .”
A STRANGER ? When the heavily perspiring stranger noticed Gimlett falling for the allure of the well-stocked bar he seized the opportunity to evade his inebriated pursuer and edged quietly off toward the ablutions and sought refuge in one of the dimly lit cubicles . Gandar , sensing there was indeed something mysterious and even magical about the caped stranger , beckoned to the rest of the lads to follow him , and together they entered the lavs and formed a semi-circle around the locked cubicle door . Gandar then spoke . “ I suspect that you suspect that we suspect who you are , stranger ,” After a short time the cubicle door slowly opened and the puffy-faced yet oddly handsome stranger stepped out and removed his sunglasses . “ Uhh hi there guys ... uhhh my name ' s Elvis ”
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