MORONEY
ELECTRIFIED FORCES
Words: Roger Moroney
If this is what the NZ Army is going to be issued... we’re in
I
was surprised, but only mildly so, when I
read the other day that our military crews are
set to introduce a new fleet of machines to
their garages.
Oh, but allow me to digress briefly at this point.
A digression toward that term “the other day”.
We all say it. We have always said it. It’s not like
saying “last Tuesday I heard...” Oh no, no, no...
it’s always “the other day I heard...” Or, “I heard
someone say the other day...”
Here is my woeful challenge. Next time that
very Kiwi slice of verbal approach emerges
look up and say “what day?” They (whoever
they are) will almost certainly reply “I dunno...
it was just the other day.” There is always
another day I guess.
So anyway...where was I? Oh yeah, the other
day I heard that the Army and the Air Force, and
I think the Navy, are going to be equipped with
motorcycles. Which is fine and dandy, although
you won’t hear them coming apparently. For they
will be powered not by exploding cylinders of
gasoline, but electricity.
Electric motorcycles are set to steer a path
toward our defence force. Now for the Army this
is a fine thing, for they often send their bods out
in uniforms which feature the colour green... and
green is very much the heart of things that run
on electricity... so the Green Putty (I mean Party)
is constantly telling us. They said this very thing
the... other day.
Not sure about the Navy though. They’re all
grey boats and blue and white clobber aren’t
they? Perhaps they are for now, but wait until
the Green Potty (I mean Party) get to poke its
political nose into this issue... the frigates will
dock wearing green attire.
Now I have never been a staunch advocate
of using electricity-battery engine power for
motorcycles but it has been happening, and
as we used to see when the Isle of Man was
not closed to traffic for fear of a virus being
trafficked, the E-race bikes are no slugs.
They lap at 100mph (children ask your
parents how fast this is in kilowatts... or
whatever they are).
I have driven an electric (hybrid) car and was
quite astonished at the pace it produced.
They work, but the lack of a “sound” and the
price of a small house rattles me. Put it this way...
I’ll never get one. Nor will I join the Army or the
Navy or the Air Force now if they can’t supply me
with an R1 to carry out correspondence duties.
But hey, it’s called progress and evolution and
88 KIWI RIDER