KEM: What integrative tools do you use to stay
successful in your various endeavors?
BMC: When we speak of tools, the question becomes,
do we see all these “tools” as external resources or
are there internal “tools” that need to be sharped,
and honed for greater use? Here are some “tools” that
are desperately needed if there is to be any genuine
renewal and transformation take place within any
organizational system and / or culture and/ or
community:
• The true art of external listening (truly listening,
and being present to the other person and hearing
them – external because the listener has learned
to turn off the endless inner chatter of their own
minds that prevents them from being present to
the other person or persons in the conversation
and in the social container in which you operate
collectively)
• The true art of asking questions (not rephrasing
statements we want to make so others can give
us the answers we want to hear, rather genuinely
asking questions based on what others are actually
working through and dealing with, especially if
they are following us into the future).
• The true art of building rapport – making others
our most important priority
• The true art of self-disclosure (what people
desperately need is those who are willing to be
authentic, transparent, and genuine – that requires
a level of humility and grace that looks quite a bit
different than command and control as the default
mode of operation). It was the late Bill McGrane
Sr., founder of the McGrane Institute, who said,
“Intimacy means into-me-see”.
KEM: What do you believe are the greatest adversaries
of men properly leading their homes?
BMC: Growth requires change. The tendency is that
we prefer the status quo within any social system and
the result leads to a model of maintenance that resists
change. Growing things change, and when we fail to
factor that in, we tend to seek to keep everything as it
has always been. The family is no exception. Within
the role of husband as well as father, serving the rest
of the family unit requires a willingness to realize
that those you are serving are also those who have
their own minds and ways of doing things. Granted,
www.kingdomexec.com
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for children that have not come of age, parameters
have to be established, however, those parameters are
geared towards the ultimate maturing of the child to
be able to stand on their own two feet. Our challenge
as individuals, as men in fact, is that we need to be
more familiar with how change occurs in the life cycle
for every member and age of the family, and being
comfortable with the risks that come with change.
Maintaining homeostasis in a family isn’t about
command and control, it is about mastering change.
When you break
the boundaries of
the possible you
can change the
world!
-Dr. Mark
Chironna
KEM: What tools do you use to balance home,
ministry and business?
BMC: Perhaps the issue isn’t as much a balance issue
as the culture wants us to believe. The work of Jim
Loehr on energy management as the key to personal
renewal and effective performance in every area of life
resonates far more with the way we are intended to live
our lives than the evasive notion of what balance looks
like. Balance for one person may not be the same as
balance for another. Homeostasis in the family unit,
as studies have shown requires understanding each
family member’s communication style and the effects
it has on each other person in the family. Balance is
relational and inter-personal. Some roles that have
been “played” in our culture are far from ideal and
yet have become quite predictable, albeit unhealthy.