abuse problems, and less likely to empathize with others or internalize norms
of moral behavior.
5. There are more effective ways of getting the behavior you want.
Let's assume that you as a parent are more interested in shaping your children's behavior than
you are in using physical
punishment as a means of venting
your own anger and frustration.
Simply seeing how angry you are is
usually frightening enough to a
young child. You don't need to
compound the fear by getting
physical. Seven excellent means of
discipline can be found here. Here is
a simple way to get the job done:
If you do X, you will be punished. If you do Y instead, you will be rewarded. Which do you choose?
As long as the behaviors and consequences are specific and clear, this approach is a very
effective means of shaping behavior. It allows children to feel they have some degree of control
over what happens to them, and teaches them to seek and consider choices. It even can work
with the oppositional child—children who are particularly defiant and difficult to control.
So do yourself a favor: Use your fully-developed adult brain to figure out clever, non-abusive
ways of getting your children to do what you want them to do.