17 . Land Your Helicopter
“ The happiest , most successful children have parents who do not do for them what they are capable of doing , or almost capable of doing ; and their parents do not do things for them that satisfy their own needs rather than the needs of the child . Once your child is capable of doing something , congratulate yourself on a job well done and move on . Continued , unnecessary intervention makes your child feel bad about himself ( if he ’ s young ) or angry at you ( if he ’ s a teenager ).” — Madeline Levine , “ Teach Your Children Well : Parenting for Authentic Success ”
18 . Take a Breather
Need a little break ? Keep your kiddo busy in the backyard by letting him “ paint ” your walls with water . Or attach a chip clip to your little guy ’ s bubble wand to keep it from dunking into the bottle .
19 . Stop Sibling Battles
“ When I was expecting my second child , a colleague said , ‘ Congrats . Now you will be less of a mother and more of a referee ,’” says Kidsguide reader Lalitha Vadlamani . The trick ? “ Resist the urge to compare . Welcome their disagreements . Challenge them to figure out a solution that feels good to each of them . Applaud their creative teamwork ,” says author Adele Faber . Get the game plan in her book , “ Siblings Without Rivalry ,” co-written with Elaine Mazlish ( fabermazlish . com ).
20 . Know Their Friends
“ Get to know other kids — and their parents . This one is easy when they ’ re little . As they get bigger , not so much . Some of these kids , I don ’ t know from Adam . I have no idea who they are , who their parents are , what they ’ re like or even where they live . Now I will call a parent I ’ ve never met , just to introduce myself . It ’ s hard , but I think it ’ s necessary . It takes a village , and sometimes you have to be the one to round up the villagers .” — blogger Jennifer Ball
21 . Chores for the Win !
“ When my children were young they didn ’ t want to help with chores . Every day was a battle that ended up in time out and screams ,” says Kidsguide reader Karla Aguilar . She picked up a brilliant tip at a parenting class at her kids ’ school . “ I posted a daily chore schedule in the kitchen that looked something like this : Joshua : 1 . Do homework . 1 point 2 . Feed the dog . 1 point 3 . Take your toys to your room . 1 point 4 . Pick up your plate from the table . 1 point
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One point was worth 25 cents , and all points would be added on Saturday and paid off . If money isn ’ t an option , visit a fun place or go out for ice cream . I was surprised how they would follow this piece of paper without me saying a word .”
22 . Facebook , Shmacebook
“ The first time Waylon slept through the night . I was so excited , so proud , so full of myself that I immediately texted all my friends and family and posted on Facebook that lo and behold , my child had slept through the night ! He hasn ’ t done it since .” — Kate Baer . “ The parents who look like they have it all together are almost always a bigger mess than you .” — blogger Jill Smokler
23 . Step Away from the
Scissors
“ Remember it ’ s your children ’ s homework , not yours . Create a homework space that ’ s clutter-free and quiet .
Encourage editing and double-checking work , but allow your kids to make mistakes , as it ’ s the only way teachers can gauge if they understand the material . It ’ s also how children learn responsibility for the quality of their work .” — the National PTA ( and teachers everywhere )
24 . Grow Their Gumption
“ It ’ s important to stick up for our kids , but only after our kids have advocated for themselves . When a teacher remarks that our child has less than diligent work habits , believe her . When we argue over half-assed assignments or being late for practice , a child learns that he can continue to be lazy because his parents will make excuses . What he learns is that he doesn ’ t have to respect his teacher or do the work . It ’ s that simple .” — from “ Your Kid is a Brat , And It ’ s Your Fault ” by Kimberly Valzania
25 . Manage the Gadgets
Worried about screen time ? “ Pay attention to how your kids act during and after watching TV , playing video games , or hanging out online . If they ’ re using high-quality , age-appropriate media ; their behavior is positive ; and their screen-time activities are balanced with plenty of healthy screenfree ones , there ’ s no need to worry .” — Common Sense Media
26 . Ask for Help
“ For a long time , I denied that there was something broken in one of my boys . Turns out , he had a chemical imbalance and needed some help . Don ’ t let pride , fear or ignorance get in the way of your child . If you can get help for your child via a tutor , a program outside of regular school , a good therapist , whatever , you should find a way to do it . ( My son ’ s ) growing up to be a kick-ass young man , but those few years of darkness could have been made a bit lighter if I ’ d just asked for help .” — blogger Jennifer Ball
27 . Keep Them Close
“ No matter what ’ s going on , at 6:30 p . m . we stop everything and have dinner together as a family . It creates good teaching moments , when something that might otherwise sound like a lecture becomes a nice conversation around the dinner table .” — Michelle Obama , First Lady of the United States
28 . Be . Here .
“ Our culture is distracting us more and more ( smartphones , right ?). But connection with our children comes in car rides and silent cuddles , reading books and shopping , shooting hoops and learning about video games . Effective parents don ’ t let moments slip away , and when they realize they are becoming distracted , they get back in there .” — parent coach Meghan Leahy
29 . Be a Butterfly
“ Allow yourself to be changed . Your children are going to change you , and it might be glorious … or it might be painful . Either way , it will be momentous . You will learn and grow into a more patient , humble and selfless person . You will be a better you . So embrace the joys and challenges that parenthood brings you … and change .” — Kidsguide reader Rebecca Delight
30 . Trust the Powers You Already Have
“ The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies , “ says Dr . Benjamin Spock , “ is the best after all .”
You got this !