Whether it is babysitting grandchildren , volunteering for a charity or singing in the church choir , we all have to decide how much we can take on and still have the time we think is necessary to meet our other obligations , including self-care . You have probably heard the saying , “ If your burden is more than you can bear , God probably didn ’ t give it to you .” Even in service to God , He expects you to have time for regeneration . It ’ s easy to get into the habit of taking on more and more because those who ask really seem to need your help . They may even depend on you and you might convince yourself that if you don ’ t do it , no one else will .
Other reasons for excessive obligations might be your own feelings of self-worth . Are you trying to make up for internal doubts about how worthy you are , make others think more highly of you , or even love you more ? Are you trying to make up for some wrong you have done in the past through your tireless service to others ? All of these reasons are inadequate to enable you to sustain an ongoing devotion to any cause .
To find true satisfaction and contentment in your service to others , finding a balance in your life is essential . Before accepting a responsibility , ask yourself how much of a priority this particular service opportunity is : Does it fit into your skills , your interests , or values ? Will it conflict with other responsibilities you already have ? Will you still have time to take care of yourself ?
Saying NO is not always a selfish response . Sometimes it may be just the response to help ensure that you are doing a good job for your few chosen activities , rather than a poor job for a multitude of them .
Larry Deavers is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker & Executive Director of Family Counseling Service of West Alabama .