july / august 2023
26
A KEY TO CONTENTMENT
By Larry Deavers
One key principle towards discovering a fulfilling , meaningful life is living in the moment . As human beings , we tend to be so oriented on future events , past regrets or circumstances beyond our control , we frequently overlook the satisfaction , peace and calm that can come simply from experiencing the moment that we are in and recognizing that we are okay .
HOW DO WE DO THAT ?
1 . GROUND YOURSELF . Grounding is a method of redirecting your thoughts from planning and imaging what is going to happen to what you are experiencing right now . This may include listening to the sounds in the background , feeling the pressure of your back against your chair , noticing the smells around you , taking in the beauty of the sky , appreciating that photo or painting in front of you . Grounding yourself through focusing on all of your senses and appreciating them helps you actually be in this moment and feel the calmness that comes from simply allowing yourself to fully embrace this moment as it is . Give yourself permission to enjoy this moment without any pressure to change anything .
2 . BREATHE . When we start to feel stressed , anxious or tense , often we take very shallow breaths without realizing it . This can serve to increase our heartrate , our anxiety and our general feeling of being overwhelmed . One powerful way to address this is to stop what you ’ re doing , sit back and take 2-3 long , deep breaths . This actually has a physiological effect on your body ’ s ability to relax , as well as relaxing your mind . Simply taking these breaths slowly , deeply and intentionally relaxes your muscles , lowers your blood pressure and relieves stress .
3 . TAKE ONE MOMENT AT A TIME . Most of us try to live our lives days , weeks or even years all at once . We often dwell on thoughts like , “ If I can only get to retirement ”, “ Life will be so much better when I get that next raise ”, “ I ’ m going to feel so much better once this project is over ”. These thoughts usually leave us feeling defeated and disgruntled with everything we have to accomplish before we get to that next goal . However , when you shift your attention to living just this moment , with the idea of savoring every aspect of this moment , finding the satisfaction this moment brings , allowing yourself to simply exist just in this moment , you find greater pleasure in the small things in life that we often overlook .
Living one moment at a time empowers you to recognize the control you can have over each individual choice , each response and each emotion . You can short-circuit much of the chaos of your life by refusing to live in a future that you cannot control and focusing on what you are doing and thinking this very moment .
4 . TRUST THAT THINGS WILL BE OKAY . Yes , it is risky , but if you look at your life , overall , you probably can acknowledge that you are generally okay , no matter how things turn out . The vast majority of the time , circumstances work out better than we imagine . So , all the fear and anxiety that we generate for ourselves by trying to imagine every possible scenario and being prepared for that one situation that will probably never happen only serves to deplete our energy , keep us feeling on-edge and makes us feel out of control . Even when things don ’ t go our way , often the nervous energy and negative anticipation magnifies them so that we experience them as far worse than they actually have to be .
5 . TAKE STOCK . Ask yourself , “ What can I enjoy about this moment ?” With rare exception , there is always something to appreciate about the moment that you ’ re in right now . It may be simply not being in pain , having plenty to eat , having a nice place to sleep tonight , having a supportive person in your life , etc . We do tend to find what we ’ re looking for , so sometimes it is just a matter of shifting your attention to those aspects of your life that are comforting and reassuring that can help you feel that your life has meaning , is satisfying and enjoyable .
6 . BE THANKFUL . We generate a great deal of our own dissatisfaction with life , work , family and finances because we focus on the next achievement , comparing ourselves to someone else , or wishing for something we don ’ t have . This kind of thinking will always create self-doubt , anxiety and stress . However , you can combat this habit by re-directing your attention to the blessings of your life … yes , there are always blessings if you look for them . This simple act , done continually , will reform your focus and improve your attitude .
So , begin today taking more control of your life by living one moment at a time and being present for everything you experience as you go about your day . You will discover new things to appreciate , feel more calm and in-control of yourself and be better able to handle any situation you face .
Larry Deavers is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker & Executive Director of Family Counseling Service of West Alabama .