TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE
By Larry Deavers
All of us go through periods of our lives where we feel overwhelmed by all of our responsibilities , question our purpose and meaning , and second guess our own life choices . When in the midst of this kind of struggle , we often feel like our lives are out of control and that we are trapped by whatever circumstances seem to be thrown our way . However , you can begin to make decisions one-moment-at-a-time that will begin to evolve the way you see yourself and your circumstances so that you feel more empowered regarding the way you allocate your limited mental , emotional and physical energy .
Set Healthy Boundaries . Sometimes we have a tendency to feel guilty when we deny someone else ’ s requests , but it is important that you develop the ability to say “ No ” when you are being imposed upon in a way that stretches you beyond your abilities and resources .
We all have people in our lives who seem to think we are fair game as a solution for all of their problems ; however , in order for you to be at your best and do your best towards your own responsibilities ( e . g ., job , children , spouse , etc .), you have to recognize when others are pushing their own obligations onto you . Those are the ones you must recognize as harmful to your ability to take care of yourself and your own obligations . Don ’ t accept responsibility for what belongs to someone else . Being a help to those in need is an important part of adding meaning to your life ; just be mindful of your limited time and energy and choose those that are important to you .
Prioritize activities that are important . All activities are NOT equal . Often , we get caught up in so many activities that we do not enjoy what we are doing and the stress of it all does not justify what it costs us ( e . g ., exhaustion , frustration , short-temper , etc .). You do not have to be overwhelmed by activities in order to feel you are doing something meaningful with your time .
Identify those that are most important to you and your family , then consider the others only if your time and energy permit . Don ’ t be a slave to the urgent ( those things that demand to be attended to right now !), but focus on what is important to you . Looking back twenty years from now , what will you remember and what will you be happy you invested your time in ?
Set aside time for self-care . When we are pressured for time , nearly all of us sacrifice the one thing that will help us manage those demands – taking care of ourselves . We often do this because we think we can sacrifice our own needs and still take care of those around us .
Having the focus , energy and creativity to manage our own obligations and being available to those around us requires that we nurture our own emotional , mental and physical selves . Therefore , for us to be the kind of person who is reliable , strong and capable for others , we must make self-care a priority . Self-care may include time for personal reflection , meditation or prayer , physi- january / feburary 2023
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