our lives that we dare not even question that create the feeling of powerlessness that keeps us trapped in our circumstances .
Be willing to say NO . Are you taking on responsibilities that really belong to someone else ? How much of your energy , time and resources go towards trying to rescue others from the consequences of their own choices ? Is your attempt to help making a meaningful contribution to others , or are you further enabling poor decision-making on their part ? Is your investment in helping others consistent with your values , or do you find yourself resenting this obligation ? Are there other areas of your life that could really benefit from re-allocating your resources to better reflect your values ?
What are you doing to re-charge your own batteries ? Taking time for self-care is critical to your ability to be the person you want to be . When we feel mentally , emotionally or physically depleted , we are not at our best . As a result , the version of ourselves we give to those around us is often rushed , stressed and resentful . Having regularly scheduled opportunities to engage in activities that are just for you – physical activities , hobbies , time with friends , etc . – is an important part of living a well-balanced and healthy life . When we deny ourselves excessively , we do damage to ourselves and those we love the most .
Be willing to ask for help . It is easy to wrap our pride around doing something all on our own without realizing the emotional drain and stress it creates . Are there tasks that you can delegate to someone else ? Are there some responsibilities that really do not fit your personality or skill set ? You do not necessarily need to avoid those opportunities for growth , but you can benefit from asking advice or assistance from someone with a different set of skills .
Some of us are really driven by seeking the approval of others or avoiding the guilt we feel when we try to maintain healthy boundaries by saying NO . Often , the underlying struggle we have is with self-acceptance . Because we don ’ t see ourselves as valuable , loveable and worthwhile , we place an unwarranted amount of importance on having others approve of us . That drive can cause us to feel trapped by the preferences , judgement or criticism of those around us . The more you can see yourself as deserving of self-respect , selfcare and contentment , the more you can find value in making choices to support those aspects of your life , rather than instinctively denying your own needs in an attempt to garner the praise of others .
Making good choices comes down to you examining the reasons for the choices you make and genuinely recognizing the ramifications of constantly living on the edge of exhaustion . You and those around you deserve better !
Larry Deavers is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker & Executive Director of Family Counseling Service of West Alabama . www . kidslifemagazine . com
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