dave says
Featuring the advice of personal finance expert and bestselling author Dave Ramsey , the Dave Says column is filled with timely , relevant questions and answers taken from actual letters and calls on Ramsey ’ s radio program , The Dave Ramsey Show .
NOT JUST A BUMP IN THE ROAD
Dear Dave , I ’ m currently on Baby Step 2 of your plan , and I ’ m six months away from being debt-free , except for my home . Recently , I ’ ve run into an issue with my sister , who has a good job , but continually makes poor choices with money . Over the last six months , she has also asked to borrow money from me and others in our family several times , including again yesterday . I don ’ t want to be cruel , but the whole issue has gotten out of hand . How do you think I should approach her about this ? -James
Dear James , Handling issues like this can be complicated , especially july / august 2024
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when family or friends are involved . But honestly , I think you should just tell your sister the truth . Keep it simple . Let her know you ’ re trying to get out of debt and change the way you handle your finances , so you don ’ t have extra money sitting around . Explain to her , too , that part of this is you ’ re not playing around with debt anymore , and this means you won ’ t be loaning or borrowing money again .
Make sure you do this with a kind spirit , James . Most people in your sister ’ s position already know deep down that they ’ re making bad decisions . So , it ’ s important that you talk to her in a gentle , caring way . See if you can get her to talk about what ’ s really going on with her money . You could even let her know you might consider giving her some money as a gift if you had any extra lying around — and you knew she was in control financially . But you ’ re not really helping someone who ’ s financially incompetent , or just plain immature , when you give them cash or even loan them money .
You ’ re not helping someone if you participate in their misbehavior with them , so you ’ ve got to look at the big picture in situations like this . Your sister hasn ’ t just hit a hard time , with lots of unexpected expenses or a job loss . Right now , her behavior with money isn ’ t just a bump in the road , it ’ s a lifestyle .
Sometimes you have to love someone enough to sit them down , and tell them the truth . Even if it ’ s family , that can also mean saying no and telling them it ’ s time to straighten up and start acting right .
— Dave