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Age 2 years: A child of two cannot understand the concept of illness or death. This makes it impossible to explain to the child.
Although they don't understand, they may feel something is wrong and may display changes in sleeping and eating patterns.
They may cry more and be difficult to pacify (soothe). Toddlers may show signs of irritability or anger. They may show regression
(showing behaviour of a younger child). They need love and caring.
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Age 2 to 4 years: Children at this stage of development are mainly concerned with themselves and their own needs. They are
learning about objects and people, but they still can't understand the concepts like life, death or friendship. Children in this
age group are more aware of changes in the way they are cared for. The child needs to be comforted and encouraged over
and over again and physical reassurance (in the form of hugs and hand-holding).
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Age 4 to 7 years: During this phase, children start to explore the world outside their immediate environment. They understand
about belonging to a family and having friends. A child develops a strong sense of right and wrong during this phase of
development. They love stories at this age. The concept of illness and death forever is still difficult for children during this
developmental phase. They need support and reassurance of belonging to their family. Routine is important.
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Age 7 to 9 years: Children's cognitive (thinking) skills - their ability to understand things clearly and conceptually - increase
dramatically during this phase of development. They start to think logically, looking for meaning in events in their lives but
their thought patterns are still very concrete and directed at solving problems immediately. They have more specific questions
about death and require more detailed information than younger children do. The child now has the ability to mourn and to
recognise mourning in other people. Some children may nonetheless feel unsure about what behaviour is expected from them,
even though they can relate to their own grief and to the grief of other family members. Some children may copy adults'
behaviour. Explain religious rituals to the child; provide the child with lots of affection. Offer comfort and encouragement.
Teach the child basic life skills. Encourage the child to be part of a group.
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Age 9 to 12 years: The older children fully understand that death is irreversible and cannot be changed. Children at this
developmental stage can understand what causes death, and they can understand the consequences of death. However,
understanding the finality of death often leaves the child feeling powerless and helpless. It is important that children are
helped to regain control over their lives. At this stage sexuality is a topic that should be addressed. Discussions should look
at physical and biological consequences and prevention. The discussion should also include feelings, traditional and personal
values, aspects of human rights and human responsibilities.
Discuss
Ask the mothers how they can help their children to understand the HIV/Aids disease and to prepare their children for the death of
a parent.
HIV
Intervention Programme for the ENHANCEMENT OF CHILDREN'S RESILIENCE
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