VOX
The World
is Vast Enough
Dare to be your most authentic self
w ords and photograph y
Celine Reyes
Authentic. This was how I promised to live my life when Year
Silver—my 25th birthday—came. After years of succumbing
to outward pressures, to trying to please everyone but myself,
I was resolved to do things my way. I had enough compromise
to last a lifetime. It was time to live out my truths.
It began with the way I dress. It was something small but
easily noticeable. Soon enough, I was hearing talk. Most were
good. Some, as expected, were hurtful. But I just let this wash
over my head. It felt good. I felt good. I was empowered.
And this, feeling good, became the basis of everything I do.
It sounds selfish, sure, but this had been long overdue. I'd been
thinking about others for too long. It was about time I put my
personal happiness ahead of everything—and everyone—else.
With this in mind, I eventually arrived at a revelation. An
admission, really. One that rattled
the very foundation of who I was.
Something that, if mishandled,
would topple everything I'd worked
so hard to build. But I was certain.
More than ever, I was certain.
I'm bisexual.
Or bi-curious, if we are to be
technical about it. I haven't been in
a relationship with a girl, but I like
girls. I'm attracted to them in the
same way I'm attracted—maybe
even more—to men. Emotionally.
Intellectually. Sexually.
When it comes to love, I've
found, I refuse to take sides.
And, yes, I'm about to get
married. To a man. That doesn't change the fact that I'm attracted
to girls nevertheless. Being able to finally say that out loud,
to be open about it, is liberating. It is freedom. Authentic.
In a world that pressures us into believing that we must do
things a certain way, that we must be a certain way, I thought
why must I conform? Why mustn't I be honest? The only
measure that matters, after all, is the one I define.
As Year Silver approaches its close, I am filled with pride.
Pride for having the constitution to carry out a promise.
Everything—all the pain, the heartaches—it was worth it. All
the struggle to stay alive was worth it.
So, never ever be ashamed to do things that delight you, of
being with people who make you feel good. If you say yes, mean
it; say no and maintain it. Yield if you're tired. Fight if it's worth it.
The world is vast—there's
enough room in here for talking
foul, laughing loudly, trusting
strangers, making mistakes and
loving hard. You are allowed to
be selfish, to be different.
Deviate. Conform. Do
whatever makes you feel good.
Care deeply if you must. Be
oblivious if you must. Just do it all
with unwavering conviction.
Fucking. Own. That. Shit.
Read more of Celine's wanderings
over at her blog celineism.com,
and on Instagram at @celineism
for random ramblings.
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