“I don’t even know.” This statement is true but even if I did know,
I still wouldn’t tell him. I don’t want him to follow me. School suits him
and everything else at school seems to agree with him. But it’s not for me,
not right now anyway.
“Listen, I’m sorry I dragged you all the way out here for this and
you’ve been nothing but great to me this whole time. I just really need to
take some time for myself.”
I don’t really feel bad though, it’s my turn to be the selfish one, to
be irresponsible and rude and ignorant but more importantly, it’s my turn
to be happy.
“Nah, it’s not your fault. I kinda figured this whole thing was too
good to be true.” He tries to laugh as he speaks but it backfires. His voice
breaks and his chin begins to quiver. I wasn’t prepared for this.
“Andy...” is all I can say. I place my hand under his chin and pull
his face upward, making his eyes finally meet mine. We smile at each other as the cab arrives. I kiss him and say, “you’re the only good thing I’m
leaving behind.” Tears begin to roll down my cheeks and Andy pulls me
in tighter for another kiss as I contemplate asking him to come with me. I
immediately decide against it, though. School agrees with him, I can’t ask
him to abandon it for me but more importantly I need to be on my own
right now. The cabbie honks his horn and I pull away from Andy.
I slide into the backseat of the cab and wave goodbye to Andy.
With the envelope in hand I feel myself crying yet again, but these are
tears of joy, of release, of happiness, and of freedom. I order the driver to
take me to the airport and I smile the entire drive there.
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