pain, that Dobby had passed. Dobby died alone and miserable in a cold,
metal cage, surrounded by silver bars, in a vacant hospital. Jerry found
that beautiful dachshund in a pool of his own blood that morning. The
poor, damaged animal had bled out completely from every drain in his
body. Every person Dobby had ever known was missing at the time of
his death, and his family (though maybe not as good as they should have
been) did not even get to say their final goodbyes. They had all the hope
in the world last night, after Dr. Ellis filled them with false promises, and
now the pale-faced girl and the blank-faced baby would wake to a world
vacant of their four-legged childhood companion.
For me, the guilt was too much to bear. My insatiable pursuit
of success had driven me to lose track of what was wrong and what was
right. I marched down to the practice manager’s office, and I told Tim I
could no longer work for the hospital due to a conflict of morals. I believe
that he knew exactly what I was talking about since he asked no further
questions while he quickly terminated my employment.
For the first time in my life, I had seen atrocities committed
by humans rather than having read about them in history textbooks. I
saw the entire spectrum of human character, from the good to the bad.
Yet, I had to wonder why. At what point had Dr. Ellis broken her oath
to heal and replaced it with a dollar sign? At what point had all of the
technicians begun to turn their heads only to keep the peace? It was the
drive for success. Dr. Ellis equated her success with the number of dollars
she made at the end of the month; she did not count the number of
animals she saved. Being successful, to her, meant that she had to be rich,
drive a Lexus, and own a ridiculous amount of shoes. Being successful,
to the technicians, meant that they went through their day unscolded.
Being successful, to me, meant that I gained the proper experience to
further my future career. Success was the reason that we all gave up our
integrity for these positions. However, success and integrity are not the
same things, and one cannot replace the other. Still, one thing remains:
you should never sacrifice your character for anyone or anything as none
of these things will ever be more valuable than the ability to sleep at night
free of guilt and free of regret. Success isn’t truly success unless you give
away pieces of yourself for it, but what pieces are you willing to be left
without? How can you see see yourself as successful if you can’t even look
at yourself in the mirror?
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