What is edging ?
Edging ( also known as surfing , peaking , and teasing ) is essentially the ultimate tease : it ’ s taking you right to the “ edge ” of orgasm , then stopping , resting , and repeating . “ Edging can be a personal practice and also a therapeutic tool ,” says Dr . Holly Richmond , psychologist and licensed sex therapist . “ What it is is stroking the penis like you might normally during masturbation , but slower and more mindfully .”
The term “ mindful ” is key here . These days , mindfulness is a buzzword used to describe everything , from our overall wellness to our diets to how we design our apartments and our closets . Media darling or not , it works . In sex , mindfulness emphasizes intent , pleasure , and patience . Edging is just one example of a way that people are looking to have orgasms with more focused intent . It ’ s about the journey , not a quick release .
A focus on edging can reduce performance anxiety and increase our ability to pay attention to what you ’ re doing right now . “ The focus is not on the orgasm ,” Richmond says , “ but pleasure in the moment .” If you ’ re wondering how delaying an orgasm could possibly be appealing , we have news for you . Sex is about more than just orgasms … especially when you ’ re with a partner . If we ’ re all hurrying up to get off and get on with our days , where is the fun in that ?
“ Viewing sex as all about the orgasm is a response to a lot of the media we have out there , from pornography to mainstream television ” says Stephanie Alys , sex tech entrepreneur and founder the sex toy company MysteryVibe . “[ People ] always refer to sex as penetration . But that definition of sex can be very limiting .”
For starters , emphasizing orgasm over everything else is a pretty heteronormative view of sex ( meaning that it ’ s restricted to penis-in-vagina intercourse — and guess what , not everyone has sex that way .) It also ignores the crucial fact that sex is pretty fun overall — and that applies to the moments leading up to orgasm as well .
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