The name game
I got a call from Splash maybe like 10 days later , after I ’ d left the message . I had forgotten about it by then because I was doing my thing with this guy . An easy $ 200 dollars a week . Awesome . But then I got the call : “ Hi , this is Dougie , I ’ m looking for Jack .” I ’ m like , “ Jack ?” He ’ s like , “ Yeah , Jack Stark , I ’ m calling from Splash .” It took me a couple of seconds to register that I had given them a fake name . I had to play it off a little . He told me they wanted to try me out . “ We ’ ll have you dance for 15 minutes and see how people react . Let ’ s see what you got .”
So , I went in . I had no idea what I was doing . I got there at 9:00 PM . I was the first guy there . I was wearing a shirt , slacks and my regular boxers . Dougie was this tall , thin , blonde dude . He was openly gay . I thought I would just gyrate onstage fo a little , and that would be that . But then he whipped out all this paperwork and told me he needed to see ID , so that everything could be properly documented . I realized I couldn ’ t lie about my name much longer . I told him “ Jack ” was just an alias . Obviously , I didn ’ t want to use my real name because I didn ’ t want my friends and family knowing I was dancing in a gay bar . Also , my real name is ethnic and Muslim . I ’ m not a religious man , but I could see how it might be a problem
Dougie was nonplussed . I mean , it probably happened all the time . So then we just had a laugh about it . After about a month , I told everyone I knew I was doing i anyway .
Wiggle , wiggle
After all the papers were signed , he had me go in the backroom to change . He took one look at my boxers . “ Those aren ’ t going to do .” They had this locker with sealed underwear in it , kind of like a vending machine . If you ’ ve ever been inside an adult novelty store on Christopher Street , they sell those there . I think the brand name is actually “ Gay Boy Underwear .” They ’ re literally booty shorts for men .
The thing is I have a huge ass . As soon as I put them on , Dougie flipped out . He was like , “ Oh man . This is going to be great .” Then , he pauses , “ Can you dance at all ?” I ’ m like , “ No , I can ’ t fucking dance .” So , he ’ s like , “ Whatever . Just wiggle .” “ Don ’ t worry about it , just go up there and have fun .”
At that point , some of the other guys showed up . Everybody was super clean cut , super clean shaven . It was like being on the set of Magic Mike times five . Everyone was hairless . The other thing is , being an ethnic dude , I ’ m covered in hair . I didn ’ t know whether that was gonna work for or against me .
116