All in all , it ’ s fairly easy , but it still involves multiple trips to the hardware store , a couple of detours into other projects , and an entire afternoon for what is admittedly very little payoff . It ’ s not like we built that patio .
And to be honest , my work is a little janky . We partially fill the hole in the ceiling with a piece of scrap wood that we just jam in there . The patchwork doesn ’ t exactly blend seamlessly with the rest of the ceiling . The cap over the hole is far too prominent . But you know what ? It ’ s done .
Lesson two : Sometimes just getting it done is enough .
LESSON THREE : MAKING THINGS
My confidence bolstered by two relatively easy merit badges earned , I decide to take on a bigger challenge : making something by hand .
In a sense , I made something by hand in Eric ’ s blacksmith shop , but that was fairly simple and straightforward . This time , I want to create something from scratch , something requiring design , forethought , complex techniques , sophisticated machinery , creative vision . I decide to make pants .
For this task , I turn to my friend Kristin , another one of the most resourceful and multitalented people I know . She ’ s currently a real estate agent , but that ’ s kind of like saying Lin-Manuel Miranda is currently an actor . She used to own a bakery . She holds three certifications from the American Sailing Association . She raises chickens and tends a greenhouse . And , in a slight violation of my amateurs-only rule , she is a professionally trained seamstress , having earned her college degree in theater with a concentration in costume design and once worked as a designer for a circus .
On her instructions , I purchase three yards of fabric of my choice from which to sew a pair of pajama pants , apparently the fireplace poker of sewing projects . We work from a basic storebought sewing pattern , which to me is a bewildering set of shapes , lines , numbers and instructions . She then gives me a brief lesson in operating both a standard sewing machine and a serger , which creates durable , professional looking seams more quickly and easily than a regular sewing machine .
As I practice running assorted stitches through scrap pieces of fabric to familiarize myself with the machines and Kristin preps the fabric using the pattern ’ s templates , I feel a real sense of self-doubt . While my previous two projects were unfamiliar and challenging , they were in my wheelhouse : I can handle simple , repetitive tasks and I ’ m good at following instructions . This project plays to my weaknesses , requiring patience , attention to detail , a delicate touch , precision , even geometry .
Kristin provides a steady guiding hand . After a full day of pinning , cutting , stitching , pressing and hemming , I have a brand new pair of bespoke pajama pants . It is a success , but as I sit at home that night lounging in my new pants , I reflect on the practicality of what I learned . The amount I spent on the fabric is comparable to a new set of pajamas , including a top , and I burn an entire afternoon sewing . Is this the best way to clothe myself ? Probably not .
Lesson three : There ’ s pride in making things , but it ’ s not always practical .
LESSON FOUR : GETTING OUTDOORS
To round out my lesson plan , I want to do something outdoorsy — and I know just the man to help . Don is an industrial designer by trade and a consummate outdoorsman . He sails , fishes , forages , shoots , hunts and cooks on open fires . When I ask him to teach me something , he excitedly responds , “ Come down to the cabin and we ’ ll drive the tractor !”
I drive down to Exeter , where Don is a member of a private club that preserves ninety-plus acres of nature with a few cabins and other amenities . He recently purchased a 1956 tractor as both a new toy and a gift for the club . He ’ s got big plans for improving the grounds : clearing dead trees , tilling land for cultivation , shoring up a berm by a pond and planting it with wildflowers .
Our day isn ’ t so much about learning to operate heavy machinery as it is a lesson in enjoying the sportsman ’ s life . In short , we spend about twenty minutes on tractor operation and the remainder of the day shooting guns .
“ You ever shoot skeet ?” Don asks as he wheels a motorized clay pigeon thrower out of the basement .
I had shot handguns and rifles at a range before , but never used a shotgun or fired at a moving target . But let ’ s face it , if I ever need to use a gun in a practical real-life situation , whether solving a problem of self-defense or hunger , it will probably involve a shotgun and a moving target .
I watch in astonishment as Don effortlessly plucks one clay pigeon after another out of the sky , hardly ever missing . When it ’ s my turn , he talks me through it : follow the target with my eyes , raise the gun , and try to aim a little bit ahead of it to account for the motion . BLAM . Nothing . Not even close . I try again . Same result . I am not even sure where my shots are going .
Don ’ s friend Tony arrives with more guns , and we turn to shooting stationary targets with a . 45 , a . 22 and a replica of a Korean War-era M1 rifle . I am only marginally more successful there ; I couldn ’ t help but hit something .
We return to skeet shooting , with Don and Tony trading streaks of consecutive hits while I continue firing into the void , undamaged clay pigeons mocking me as they land safely in the grass .
“ It ’ s like a dance ,” Don advises at one point , demonstrating the delicate balance between following and leading the target . I guess he doesn ’ t realize that I ’ m also an awful dancer .
After shooting for a couple of hours and running through an entire case of shotgun shells , I manage to hit exactly one pigeon , and I have no doubt it is pure dumb luck .
Don and Tony are encouraging . “ It ’ s only your first time . Keep at it . You ’ ll get it .” I am not disheartened | | CONTINUED ON PAGE 103
RHODE ISLAND MONTHLY l JUNE 2022 59