June 2022 | Page 27

Jottings writing course over concerns that they , “ tend to be products of white Western culture .” It ’ s all part of the academics ’ drive to “ decolonise the curriculum ,” apparently .
Greenwich Council in London has leapt on the Woke Wagon with a 42-page document , Language Matters , which has been issued to staff . It makes various valuable recommendations such as omitting the world “ family ” when sending Christmas greetings , avoiding phrases such as “ expectant mothers ” in favour of “ people who are pregnant ,” and dumping encouragement to join “ a young and vibrant team ” in case older people later in their careers feel marginalised .
Meanwhile , a document from Norfolk Constabulary includes a list of 37 – yes , 37 ! – different sexual identities and genders . The guide - “ The + in LGBT +” – directs readers to the illustration of a “ Gingerbread Person ” which includes a series of sliding scales which relate to gender identity , sexual orientation , gender expression and biological sex . Terms which are clarified for the reader include Demisexual , Heteronormative , Varioriented , and Maverique . Strangely , the term Confused remains without clarification ...
Good to see an old favourite returning for another thrash around the Woke Wheel of Fortune . This time , it ’ s Baa Baa Black Sheep amongst a host of other nursery rhymes which have come under the watchful eye of PETA , People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals .
Their new version explains that it ’ s “ not cool ” to “ steal ” wool from sheep , and to give a bag each to the master , the dame and the little boy who lives down the lane . In addition , the three blind mice no longer have their tails chopped off , Little Miss Muffet has turned vegan , and This Little Piggy chooses “ roast beets ” over roast beef .
But is there anything beyond woke ? There is , if you ’ re employed by the accountancy giant KPMG where staff have been instructed not to discuss their skiing holidays , gap years and private education in the interests of inclusivity .
Bosses are reported to have ordered staff to take part in “ unconscious bias training ” and have even threatened their bonuses if they do not attend . The policy has been described as “ mad wokery ” by critics , including Leicestershire MP Andrew Brigden who dismissed it as “ hypocritical and counterproductive .” This , by the way , is the same company which “ lost ” UK chairman Bill Michael who opined last year that , “ unconscious bias is complete crap , complete and utter crap .”
Lexicon
Radio 4 ’ s comedy series “ I ’ m sorry I haven ’ t a clue ” frequently invites comedians to give new definitions of familiar words . Recent examples include “ barbeque ” ( a long line of plastic dolls ), “ gear ” ( alcoholic drink for a ventriloquist ) and “ nomad ” ( the study of gnomes ) – and there are dozens more .
But what would the teams make of “ hepeating ”? The British exam regulator Ofqual has introduced the term in an internal handbook , and defines the term as “ a situation where a man repeats a woman ’ s comments or ideas and then is praised for them as if they were his own .”
The word joins other recent jargon terms including “ mansplaining ” ( the patronising way a man will explain something to a woman , assuming she is ignorant ), “ manologue ” ( a man speaking at great length while women are waiting to contribute ), and “ manterrupting ” ( the unnecessary interruption of a woman ).
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