June 2021 | Page 26

Jottings from previous page
in East Kilbride has got in on the act with their deep-fried Colin the Caterpiller . Yes , really . Apparently , extra strong batter had to be mixed in order to hold the cake together and it still came out of the fryer looking like a crispy chocolate log . How many calories per slice then ?
Richard Litlejohn in the Daily Mail recalled seeing a sign in a chippy next door to a confectioner ’ s shop near Glasgow airport which displayed the sign in its window , “ You buy it , we ’ ll fry it .”
And while we ’ re on the subject of food , the UK and Ireland are in the middle of a severe food shortage . Cadbury Flakes – the chocolate bars which transform a vanilla ice cream cone into a 99 - have been running out .
To be accurate , it ’ s the mini Flake bar , itself known as a 99 , which appears to be in crisis . Cadbury , now owned by US multinational Mondelez , says it did not expect the increase in demand . Er ... it ’ s June and people eat more ice cream when the weather gets warm , so what ’ s not to be expected ?
Most Cadbury flakes are now made in Egypt apparently . Wouldn ’ t have happened in the Bourneville days .
A very English affair
One of the delights of the English language is its total disregard of almost everything when it comes to correct spelling and pronunciation . For example , that bakery item which is scrummy when filled with cream and jam - is it pronounced “ sconn ” or “ scoan ”?
It ’ s different with place names , though , where a sort of truce exists and the correct pronunciation is the one used locally . For example , the Vale of Belvoir ( pronounced “ beaver ”) in Leicestershire , Milngavie (“ mill-guy ”) near Glasgow , and of course Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndro bwllllantysiliogogogoch in Wales . pronunciations came to the very English agreement that the outcome of a sports match would determine which would the accepted by both camps , the losing team agreeing that their town would acquiesce to in the winning team ’ s style in all correspondence and public interviews . And the sport which was chosen ? Croquet .
The match was held on May 16 when the rival teams turned out in their best pressed whites and fought a frightfully civilised four-hour battle with mallets , hoops and balls on manicured lawns . Tea and sandwiches with the crusts cut off were probably served to calm frayed nerves ,
Northampton won 7-2 in a four-hour battle so the Nene is now officially the “ Nen ” ... well until next year anyway . because the towns plan to fight it out over the croquet lawn on an annual basis .
Intolerance and hope
“ Remember that loving your neighbour as yourself does not mean agreeing with everything he or she says ; it means that when we have these discussions , there is no excuse for personal attacks or abusive language . We should all respect that people on each side of the debate have deep and strongly held convictions .”
The words are from a sermon delivered by Dr Bernard Randall , a school chaplain at Trent College near Nottingham , in which he advised pupils they were allowed to disagree with the school ’ s new LGBT + policies .
He was promptly reported to the counter-extremism body Prevent , and told that his future sermons would be censored in advance and monitored . Dr Randall has since lost his position , but his boss , the Most Reverend Justin Welby , Archbishop of Canterbury , reportedly had no comment to make or support to offer to him . Dr Randall , however , has received numerous letters of support from parents and former pupils for “ upholding the school ’ s Christian values .” been restricted will also be able to go to court to seek financial compensation . Student unions immediately responded to the news predictably by accusing the government of “ embarking on a pseudo freedom of speech crusade on campuses .”
In addition , the UK says it plans to change its position on loos in public buildings . Gender-neutral toilets will be replaced by good , old-fashioned Gents and Ladies in an initiative aimed at safe-guarding women . A report from the Communities Secretary Robert Kenrick will “ address misconceptions that removing sex-specific toilets are a requirement of equality legislation .”
The new rule will apply to offices , shops and entertainment venues , plus hospitals and other public services . It will also apply to buildings undergoing refurbishment , where consent is required for the works . In addition , women ’ s cubicles will be entirely self contained , with basins and hand dryers , for privacy .
Spare a thought for ...
... Peter Finnon from Sunderland in north-east England whose family have recently been woken at 5.00 every morning by his letter box rattling . It all started when he fitted a new front door , since when a seagull has taken to pecking at the slot first thing every day .
... the Belgian farmer who almost triggered a diplomatic incident last month when he made his own country bigger at the expense of France . He was annoyed at a stone in the path of his tractor and moved it by 2.29 metres , Unfortunately , it was one of the stones which marks the border between the two countries which was established under the Treaty of Kortrijk , signed in 1820 . The farmer was asked to move the stone back .
... the couple who booked into an hotel in Glasgow and proceeded to become ... er ... intimate , assuming that the tinted windows were privacy protected . They weren ’ t .
However , Peterborough and Northampton have for decades disputed the pronunciation of the name of the River Nene which rises in Daventry and runs for 100 miles through Cambridgeshire and Norfolk before flowing into The Wash . In Peterborough , it ’ s always been pronounced “ Neen ” but 40 miles away in Northampton , it ’ s “ Nen ”.
So finally , supporters of both
But there is some hope on the horizon for those who refuse to tolerate the intolerant . The British government says it will end the “ no platforming ” of speakers and academics by students with a new Freedom of Speech Bill .
The campus regulator , the Office for Students , will be given the power to fine institutions and student unions for breaching their duties , while those who believe their freedom of speech has
... Algeria Gomes of London who ordered a meal via Deliveroo which came with a surprise when she discovered how much it would cost . The food total was £ 19.95 plus a delivery fee of £ 9.99 and a service fee of £ 1.00 , to which was added a “ Small order fee ” of £ 130.05 , bringing the total payable to £ 160.99 . The restaurant has since defended the
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