opportunity to choose
instead of just rebel. I could
almost see the wheels turning
as he figured things out. The
question became easier for
both of us rather quickly.
3. Have you considered
your options?
Sometimes, even if they know
what the choices are, it gives
them the opportunity to have
a sounding board to explore
them with.
4. Do you want to talk
about it?
You are giving them
the opportunity to talk
because they want to, and
you’re putting the choice
in their lap. Be prepared
for a “no” and know that
that’s OK. If they don’t want
to talk right now, let it be.
They will come to you when
they are ready, because you
left the door open for them
to walk through, instead
of locking them in a room
with you demanding to talk
about it right now.
5. I’m really proud that you
are working through this.
Every child, no matter
what age, wants to know
their parent is proud of
them. This boosters selfconfidence and reinforces
new skills of working things
out for themselves, as well
as making wise choices.
6. How did that feel?
This is a follow up to
something they shared. It
furthers the conversation and
tells them you are interested
in what they had to say
and share. Really engaging
with your kids makes them
strong, independent, and
prepared to handle life. It is
so easy for parents to give
replies with “ok” and “umm
hmmm” and not be fully
present. The more you allow
them to express themselves,
the more they will share
with you.
7. I’m here if you need me.
Some kids really want to
figure things out on their
own. But knowing they
have a safety net (you)
to catch them and guide
them when they are ready
is the biggest gift you can
give your child to empower
them. I still get calls asking
my advice, thoughts, and
opinions because I sought
those out in him.
My son calls me nearly every
day and our conversations
range from “just wanted to
say hi” to “can I ask you a
question?”. I treasure how
close we are and enjoy the
friendship that has developed
over the years. I look forward
to the day he is a parent and
has the joy of empowering his
own children.
Barbara
Abramson is
the founder
and Chief
Relationship
officer of Making
Meaning
Connections, a
workshop and team-building company.
Barbara works with corporations,
schools, senior centers and community
organizations to help people connect
more deeply to themselves, to each
other, and to the opportunities in
their lives. She’s all about increasing
happiness and profitability, decreasing
bullying and depression by helping
friendships evolve, partnerships
develop and Aha moments occur.
Barbara also enjoys writing. Her words
can be found on The Huffington Post
and on The Good Men Project where
she is also an Editor. You can connect with
Barbara at www.BarbAbramson.com and
follow her on Twitter.
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