formless . That has been at the core of my understanding of death .
Can I compartmentalize and believe one thing but not want my sister to go from form to formless ?
I have always written to find out what I am feeling and thinking . And this time is no different . There ’ s a part of me that can ’ t stop crying and another part in awe at her lack of fear . She ’ s always been my mentor , and now once again she ’ s forcing me to put my money where my heart is .
Yesterday she said she was in a lot of pain but didn ’ t want to take the morphine the doc gave her . I said , “ why in the world not ?” And in all seriousness she said , it ’ s addicting . There was a pause and then we both cracked up laughing .
So now I wonder if you ’ re thinking , “ Wow , those Slonim sisters are a pair .”
Well , actually , yes we are .
One of us still in form and the other … Well , that remains to be seen .
Writing that piece made me realize I was not as cool as I thought I was . I did not want her to leave me and I was sad that I thought I could be surrendered about such a huge thing . It was only by writing it though , was I able to feel what I really felt .
This is proof that when you write what your subconscious is thinking or even your conscious mind , once on the page you can actually own it . It ’ s not hidden underneath layers of … I think we ’ re running out of Thai coconut milk .
Based on the book Memoir as Medicine . Copyright © 2022 by Nancy Slonim Aronie . Reprinted with permission from New World Library . www . NewWorldLibrary . com
NANCY SLONIM ARONIE - Nancy Slonim Aronie is the author of Memoir as Medicine and Writing from the Heart . She has been a regular contributor to National Public Radio ’ s All Things Considered . She was recognized for excellence in teaching all three years she taught at Harvard University for Robert Coles . Aronie has joined with physicians and writers from Columbia University ’ s program in narrative medicine to lead workshops using her Writing from the Heart . She lives on Martha ’ s Vineyard , Massachusetts . More information at
www . chilmarkwritingworkshop . com .
“ Death is just going from form to formless .”
Eckhart Tolle