Wellbeing
How to beat anxiety – now and forever
Spain and the rest of the world has been living in an era of uncertainty since the beginning of 2020 . Nerja Wellbeing Coach David Hurst gives some simple suggestions on how we can deal with anxiety – and beat it – now and always .
We are in one of the greatest eras of uncertainty in living memory . It has caused unprecedented levels of anxiety . This is understandable and even someone previously without much anxiety will have most likely seen their anxiety levels rise . But for someone already struggling with anxiety , the COVID-19 situation will have made their suffering even worse .
Having some anxiety occasionally is normal . It helps us focus when we need to , such as if walking close to a cliff edge . Excessive anxiety though has for an exceptional number of people become their normal way of being . It ’ s as though they ’ re relentlessly walking on a cliff edge – and that is clearly not a healthy way to live .
Anxiety like this can limit or stop someone from taking part in life . They may withdraw from work , hobbies , families and friends . As well , many people look for relief through such as alcohol , smoking , drugs or overeating . Thankfully there are several proven successful simple things that anyone can do to help beat anxiety .
We have a choice
According to the University of Southern California ' s Laboratory Of Neuroimaging , an average adult has around 70,000 thoughts a day . These are a mixture of factual observations as well as negative and positive thoughts .
We all have a choice over which of these thoughts we pay attention to – and that ' s incredibly important . This is because if we listen to negative thoughts , such as anxious ones , we will create a negative inner feeling . There will be physical changes and these will lead to more thoughts along the same negative lines . Anything we focus on – good or bad – gets bigger .
Our minds are incredibly creative . It ’ s why someone with a fear of flying can sit miles from an airport with no flight booked – and yet give themselves a cold sweat , palpitations and the shakes from just thinking about flying . A major problem is that most people don ’ t catch their negative thoughts quickly enough , so they just catch the feelings . Then when they have the terrible aching feeling they wonder : " Why am I feeling like this ?"
Consider the word “ anxious ” derives from Latin angere meaning “ to choke ”. That ’ s exactly what we are doing to ourselves when we think anxiously and it ’ s why the extreme of anxiety is a panic attack when someone feels like they can barely breathe , as if they are choking .
Break the anxiety habit
So the key here is to realise most anxious thoughts are about things that will never happen ( although , paradoxically , focussing on them will make them more likely to happen ). One of my favourite mantras on this is : “ I ’ ve lived through so many terrible things – a couple of them even happened !”
Although overwhelming anxiety is extremely painful and we don ’ t want it , most of the time we are creating it by the way we ’ re thinking . Being too anxious is usually our response to a situation or perceived situation rather than the situation itself . So the solution is to increase our positive thoughts – and focus on them . This doesn ’ t happen overnight pic : Tone Camara as it ’ s usually taken David Hurst someone years to reach the point where their anxiety is causing such unbearable pain . They may have been focussing on negative and lack for decades . But the positive transformation can be much swifter than most people think .
Most of us have been taught to think in a certain way since childhood . The majority of anxiety sufferers grew up in a household where anxiety was habitual . This means the first response to such as an idea to do something would be : “ Just think what could go wrong …” or a variant . When people come to see me with anxiety I aim to completely switch that to : “ Just think what could go right …”
See it when you believe it
As bestselling motivational author Wayne Dyer wrote : “ You ’ ll see it when you believe it .” This can apply to bad or good thoughts – and they both take the same amount of effort ! It ’ s a great start if someone can catch just one of their negative thoughts a day and realize : “ But that ’ s very unlikely or impossible ” – before sending it on its way .
As well as being aware that we have a choice over which thoughts we listen to like this , there are other things that anyone can do . Among these is making sure to cut down or quit any unhealthy lifestyle choices , eat well , exercise , learn how to relax and sleep well too .
Sometimes people don ’ t think they have a choice over these aspects of their life , but there is always a solution . That ’ s just as there is with choosing positive thoughts that energise and enable us to be our greatest ideal – and to know contentment , meaning and be happy .
As Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius said in the 3rd Century BC : “ The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts .”
DAVID HURST
David Hurst is a Wellbeing Coach with four books published on mental health and emotional recovery , including 12 Steps To 1 Hero and The Anxiety Conversation . To find out more or contact David to find out how he can help you or someone you care about , visit : david-hurst . com
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