The Destruction of the Maine is caused by a Burp
On January 25, the USS Maine was docked in Havana, Cuba to protect business interests. Then things got ugly. A nearby Cuban thought that he heard a chirping sound. He might have then seen a large black shadow. Our sources also report that the captain of the ship, Charles Sigsbee, said he heard somebody singing a song. He said “It was the most beautiful noise that I have ever heard”. Then he said he heard a burping noise and then BOOM the captains quarters were up in the air. A close by Cuban says he saw it all happen. “A small bird burped in the face of a mermaid then she called her mermaid sister and together they ate the bird. Then the bird exploded from touching the mermaid’s intestines,” everybody knows that mermaid intestines cause birds to explode, “and caused the mermaid and the ship to explode, mon” said the Cuban. The Cuban describes this bird as baby-barf green with a hint of bright yellow on its head. He also says this bird is very small. This bird is thought to be the rare Hippobirdicus that only lives in eastern Cuba. This bird is inappropriately named because it is not large like the hippo. This bird might actually be smaller than the nail on your pinky finger but after it eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches its burp can really pack a punch as the crew of the Maine found out.