few responsibilities. Unfortunately, for many young adults, their
parents' failed marriages may contribute to the expectation that
marriages are fragile and divorce is common.
Those who are afraid of commitment and permanence, or who
fear that these qualities can no longer be found in marriage, may
settle for cohabitation. They are likely to discover they have
settled for much less. Cohabiting relationships are relatively
shortlived- after five years, only about 10 percent of couples
who cohabit and do not marry each other are still together.
Furthermore, those cohabitors who marry each other may be as
much as 46 percent more likely to divorce than people who
marry but have not cohabited first. The chances of commitment
and permanence are better with marriage. Marriage is more
likely to last than cohabitation even in the early years of the
relationship. According to 1997 data, 14.5 percent of first
marriages of women who had never cohabited ended in
separation, divorce, or annulment in the first five years,
compared to 22.6 percent of first marriages of women who had
cohabited (with anyone) before those marriages. 8
Moreover, the breakup of a cohabiting relationship is not
necessarily cleaner or easier than divorce. A breakup involves
breaking up a household and may lead to conflicts over
property, leases, pastdue bills, etc. 9 Breaking up is emotionally
difficult for both cohabitors and any children of their own or
previous relationships. Women in their late twenties and thirties
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