JOY FEELINGS MAGAZINE OCTOBER.2015 | Page 26

you'd like to be. Shit happens.. Be aware that every once in a while, things might not be as clean as you want them to be, and understand that it happens to everyone, and is completely normal. Think of it as “used food” (Todd Perkin's words), or as a fact of life like menstruation; “you just need to respect it and work around it,” Todd advises. Just laugh about it and hop in the shower, and be done with it... beating yourself up over something that is a normal occurrence doesn't help! 3. Lube: Are you remembering the lube? I bring it up again already because it's that important. The inner walls of our butts are fragile, and without the slippery stuff lube brings to the table, you can give yourself micro-tears that make you more susceptible to STDs and other butt injuries. 4. You have to seduce your ass every time: That’s a direct quote from my favorite sex educator and porn star (and friend) Nina Hartley. And yes, you have to seduce your ass every single time. I first massage the opening with the pad of my lubed finger (even better with latex gloves on them, easy clean up and no worries about nails!), till the opening relaxes. Promise your partner you won't go inside (even if playing with the opening is as far as you get this session), and stick to your promises... if your partner thinks you're going further than they are ready for, they'll tense up and you won't get anywhere. Once you feel the opening relax, you can slip the first digit of your finger in, or the tip of a small toy. I love the Small Ripple, it’s silicone (which means it's boilable, bleachable, and dishwasher JOY FEELINGS