“It comes as such a shock
to women that they just
don’t believe it,” Fisher
says about the reaction
many women have when
their partner says they
aren’t in the mood for sex.
“They know themselves
that they are not always
interested in sex but they
still love the man. But
when they discover he
doesn’t want to have sex,
they think, ‘he doesn’t
love me.’ Not true. He just
doesn’t feel up to having
sex right now.”
5. Tell Him What You
Want
Talking very directly
about sex, what you like
and don’t like can make
many people, but
particularly women, feel
uncomfortable, even with
a long-time partner, says
Parrott. But it’s the only
way to achieve a
Joy feelings magazine
satisfying sexual
relationship.
“A woman must take
responsibility for her
sexual encounter,” says
Westheimer. “No man can
bring a woman to orgasm
if she doesn’t take
responsibility for her
sexual experience. Even
the best lover can’t know
what she needs without
her letting him know.”
The good news, according
to Fisher, is that men very
much want to please
women.
“If you can tell them in a
way that doesn’t kill their
ego, they will appreciate
it,” says Fisher. Men do
listen, particularly if
you’re quite clear about
it.”
6. Don’t Feel You “Have
To” Try New Things,
But Don’t Get Upset If
He Asks, Either